Fifteen feet of pure white snow
by adwkokos
Summary: This is gonna be long, and it has a plot... Woot! CloudLeon, YuffieTifa, ZexionDemyx... Rated M for language, sex, violence, rape, and lots of angsty stuff...
1. Chapter 1: Friday I'm in love

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**  
Chapter 1: Friday I'm in Love**

"Seriously, Yuffie, when are you gonna ask Tifa out?" Leon asked, sending his best friend a look that told her that this wasn't a question, it was a challenge.

"I'm not," Yuffie replied, looking away. She seemed to be blushing slightly. Blushing! Yuffie never blushed. Never. She must really, really like that girl.

"Why not? Not brave enough?"

"Are you calling me a fucking coward? I'm bloody not. I'm braver than you'll ever be, you wanker!" Her shouting trailed away with a few more curses. She glared angrily at Leon for a few moments before she sighed.

"I can't ask her," she said, staring fixedly at her black boots, "First of all, there's no way the hottest chick on the damned planet is single, second. I bet she doesn't even like girls, third, she's two years older than me, she can have anyone her own age, or older, so why would she want a dumb little child with a bad temper?"

"Now you're being silly. You know you're talking rubbish, right? You and I both know that she is both single _and_ interested in girls. She just broke up with that chick with the crazy hair last month."

"Okay, maybe she is single. Maybe she does like girls. But she's still way out of reach. But now we're done talking about my love life. What about yours? You go that bloody coffee shop every damned day, and I know it's because you're hoping for that blond bookworm to be there. I know you like him! Come on, admit it, admit it, admit it, admit it…"

"I don't go there because of the guy. I go there because they make good coffee. Why should I care about some boy with a book?"

"Because he's the cutest ever. Always sitting there in the same corner, drinking the same black coffee, the same type of coffee as you drink, by the way, reading his book. He looks kind of sad, with his black clothes, and his thoughtful expression. I've never ever seen him smile. How he can look like that and act like that and not seem emo is beyond me."

"You're one to talk. You're not exactly a walking smiley, yourself. Are you actually capable being anything other than angry, annoyed and horny?"

"Horny? Where the hell did that come from?"

"Let me give you a hint: hot chick with long black hair." Leon imitated Yuffie drooling over Tifa.

"I thought we were through with that subject? I'm supposed to be grilling you about the blond guy."

"Can't you just let it go? I don't even know his name…" If the boy she was talking to hadn't been Leon, Yuffie would have said he sounded sad. But she knew better. When her friend was sad, he always tried to cover it up by pretending to be angry. But why was his voice sounding so weird?

-

Cloud was sitting in his corner reading. _His_ corner. He almost laughed. He let his eyes sweep across the coffee shop. It was almost empty. A boy was sitting by himself by the window, and two girls were sitting on the other end of the room. They were talking loudly and giggling. Hyperactive little schoolgirls. He didn't like them.

Just as he was turning his attention back to his book, he heard a familiar tinkling noise. He looked up to see who'd arrived. A petite girl with black hair and an angry look on her face was standing next to a tall brown-haired boy with a strange scar between his eyebrows. The girl was wearing very short denim shorts, a black t-shirt with the words "reality is overrated" written across her chest in purple, a black leather jacket, striped gray and black over-the-knee stockings and black combat boots. The boy was wearing a pair of baggy jeans, held up by no less than four belts and a white t-shirt. Like the girl, he was also wearing a black leather jacket. Cloud had seen them a few times before, but never really noticed them. Now, all of a sudden, it struck him how handsome the boy was. A moment later he realized he was staring, and quickly turned back to his reading. He had a hard time focusing, though. The words suddenly seemed completely meaningless. The newcomers sat down at the table next to his. He could hear the girl whisper something, but it wasn't loud enough for him to make out the words. He looked up without lifting his head, hoping they wouldn't notice that he was watching them. He was surprised to she the girl pointing at him, and poking her friend in the ribs. The boy looked at her for a while, then he sighed. He stood up and walked over to where Cloud was sitting.

"Mind if I join you?" the boy asked, avoiding looking him in the eye. Did he seem shy?

"Sure. Sit down." Cloud closed the book, and put it on the table. "I'm Cloud, and you are?"

"Leon. And that's Yuffie." He pointed at the angry-looking girl. "She's not as angry as she looks, she just doesn't really know how to smile."

"You don't seem to smile much yourself."

"Neither do you."

"Man, we're a lively gang."

They looked at each other in silence for a bit. Cloud was the one to break the spell. He looked away reluctantly, and quickly finished his cup of coffee.

"I gotta go now," he said, looking sadly at Leon. "Have some stuff I need to do. I guess I'll see you around?"

"Sure." Leon's lips curved slightly. It was almost a smile. Almost.

-

"That the best you can do?" Yuffie laughed at Leon. They were playing some playstation-game, and she was totally kicking his butt. Normally Leon would have beaten her easily, but today his thoughts were elsewhere. He wondered why Cloud had left so quickly. Had he said anything wrong? He wondered why he cared so much. Maybe Yuffie was right? Maybe he did like Cloud? No, that was just silly. He didn't even know the boy.

He realized that Yuffie was knocking on his head.

"Hello? You there?"

"I… Um… Yeah, I'm here I guess… I was just… um… thinking."

"About Cloud?"

"Yeah… Wait, no. No, no, no, no. I was NOT thinking about Cloud."

"You know you can't hide anything from me. Come on, tell me how you feel about him."

Leon hesitated. Yuffie was right, he couldn't hide anything from her. But that didn't mean he had to talk about everything, did it? Maybe it did.

"I don't know. I mean, I guess I like him, but I barley know him. I didn't even know his name until an hour ago."

"So what? It's like love at first sight or some other cliché. It's obvious you like him, and I'm pretty sure he's got a soft spot for you, too. He was totally staring at you when we walked in the door."

"But if he likes me, why did he leave so quickly?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was scared. I think I would have been if I realized I was falling for some guy I'd just met."

**--------------**

**Okay, this is freaky. I wrote a story that actually has a _plot_. I don't do plots. I do glimpses of everyday lives. I don't do beginning, middle, end. It's weird. And it's not a one-shot, which is even weirder. **

**Well, anyway: about this story. The title of the story is the title of a Nick Cave song, the title of the chapter is the title of a The Cure song. The reason for using song-titles is that Yuffie a music-freak. I haven't written about that yet, but next chapter will tell you a bit about Yuffie and the wrong and right kind of music. Next chapter will also include Tifa.**

**I really hope you guys like this… Cookies for reviewers…**

**P.S. the reason I've put this in "Kingdom Hearts" and not in "Final Fantasy" is simply because I've never played Final Fantasy, so I don't know how the characters are in that game. I'm basing this on how they are in Kingdom Hearts (note that even though they are based on the kind of people they are in the game, there will still be some major OOC)… I kind of want to play Final Fantasy though… I've seen that movie, Advent Children, and I liked it a lot, and it made me want to play the game. But now I'm rambling, sorry… **


	2. Chapter 2: Devils and dust

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 2: Devils and dust**

Tifa let her gaze sweep across the schoolyard. Most of the people there looked boring. Girls in knee-length skirts and pink t-shirts. Boys in jeans and blue sweaters. Why was everyone in the school so _normal_? There were no people in strange clothes, no girls without make-up, no boys _with_ make-up, in short, nothing out of the ordinary. She didn't like ordinary. Not ordinary people, not ordinary clothes, not ordinary food. She didn't even like the word "ordinary".

A big clang announced that someone had just slammed shut the big, ugly wrought-iron gate. She looked up to see who had arrived, not really expecting anyone interesting. The girl her eyes fell upon was anything but ordinary, though. She had short black hair and a black headband. Her dark-green t-shirt was so short it left half her stomach bare. Over her t-shirt, she wore a black leather jacket. Several metal chains decorated her short denim shorts. She was also wearing black combat boots, and long black stockings. Tifa had never seen her before, but then again, it was a big school.

"You coming, Tifa?" her friend, Zexion, asked, "PE starts in…" he checked his watch "…exactly 17 minutes."

Tifa groaned. She hated PE. The teacher was bloody sadistic.

"You know what I think?" she asked Zexion.

"No…?"

"I think there must be some kind of rule that says that all gym-teachers, and coaches for that matter, must be evil sadists!" with that she stalked off towards the girl's locker room.

-

After PE, Tifa sat in the locker rooms wondering what the other girls in her class had instead of brains. Their talking and giggling reminded her of why she avoided socializing with them as much as possible. How could somebody have an hour-long conversation exclusively about clothes, hair and make-up?

She walked out of the room, inhaling the chilly air deeply. It was the middle of November, and she shivered a bit, wishing she hadn't left her jacket at home. She didn't really mind the cold, though. In fact, she quite liked it. Maybe the first snow would come soon?

She felt a wave of sadness when she remembered that she wouldn't have anyone to share that snowfall with. She and Larxene, her ex, had broken up about a month earlier. She still missed her former girlfriend sometimes, but she knew she was better off without her. Larxene had cheated on her for months, not even making an effort to hide it. From time to time, Tifa wondered why she had stayed in the relationship for so long. All her friends, not that she had that many, _all_ basically meant Zexion and Seifer, had told her over and over that she deserved someone better, but she had refused to listen. At first they had just been a bit worried about her, but soon they grew more and more angry with her. She understood their anger, of course. After all, she hadn't exactly been a good friend. When they told her she shouldn't put up with Larxene being unfaithful, she had thought they were trying to break them up because they didn't like her girlfriend. Sometimes she had simply refused to talk to them. Other times she would start yelling at them before they could even open their mouths to say "Hi". How could she have been so blind? She had refused to see that her friends were only worried about her. They had tried to keep her from getting hurt, yet she had ignored them and ended up hurting herself as well as them.

They had been there for her after the break-up, too. How they could welcome her back, just like that, not even asking for an apology, was beyond her. When she had tried to apologize, Zexion had laughed and told her not to be silly, and Seifer had simply given her a hug. When she cried, he held her and stroked her hair, while Zexion told her over and over again that she had done the right thing, and that every thing would be okay, she just needed some time. They had spent hours just listening to her, not once loosing patience and telling her to quit complaining.

She didn't deserve to have friends like Seifer and Zexion, yet they were always there for her. Without them she would never have worked up the courage to confront Larxene, and eventually break up with her. She had realized that her friends were more important than anything when she read a book about this girl who refused to end an abusive relationship, which only resulted in her loosing all her friends, and when the guy kicked her out she found herself alone, with no one to turn to, and nowhere to go.

-

Leon had been avoiding the coffee shop for almost a week. Normally he would go there almost every day to drink coffee and do his homework, but now he didn't go near the place. He would never admit it, but the reason was that he was afraid of meeting Cloud. He didn't know how the boy would react, and a part of him was scared that he would be rejected. If he only knew why Cloud had left in such a hurry.

Yuffie was worried about him, but he refused to tell her about his troubles. She had more than enough on her plate as it was. He wasn't the only one hiding his problems. She thought he didn't know, but he did. He could always tell how she felt, even when she tried to hide it behind her anger, and she could always tell how he felt. Sometimes he thought they knew each other better than they knew themselves.

He looked at his friend walking silently beside him. She was looking at the ground with a thoughtful expression. She hadn't been in a fight for two whole days, and she was barely talking. He knew something had happened. He knew when it had happened. He just didn't know what it was. It had happened three days earlier. The day had started like any other, with Yuffie being angry, and yelling at some kid for saying that The Cure sucked. Leon finished half an hour earlier than her, but he waited for her at the gates. As soon as he spotted her in the crowd filing out of the doors, he knew something was wrong. She didn't look angry, she didn't run, she didn't even react when a boy almost pushed her of her feet in his hurry to get out of the crowd. A normal Yuffie would have attacked the poor guy.

"Yuffie…" he started. She looked at him with sad eyes.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened on Monday?"

"Not now. I don't feel like talking. But I promise, I'll tell you later."

"Please, Yuffie?"

"No. Not now. It's a long, complicated story. This is not the right time or place to tell it."

"Okay. How about you come over to my place later?"

"Or how about I just go to your place now. I'd rather not go home, really. Mom's been in a bad mood lately."

They walked on in silence. Leon wondered if her mother was the reason why Yuffie was acting so strange. He didn't think so. It seemed like whatever it was had happened at school. Plus, Yuffie and her mom always had issues. Even if they had a really big fight, that wouldn't be enough to put her in such a weird mood for several days.

**----------**

**Second chapter done. Title is from a Bruce Springsteen song. **

**Next chapter will be mostly about Yuffie and Tifa. You'll find out some things about both their backgrounds, and their families and stuff like that. And you'll find out what's bugging Yuffie (basically what happened on Monday, plus some other minor stuff)… I just realized it's kind of hard to understand when the events take place and stuff, so here's the deal: chapter 1 was all on a Friday, Tifa's part of this chapter is set to the Monday after the Friday in chapter 1, and Leon and Yuffie's part of this chapter is set to Thursday. I'll try to be more clear about weekdays and stuff, it's just I'm not used to writing stories that "last" for several days… I do glimpses of lives that last maybe a few hours, a day if we're lucky, sometimes they only last half an hour or so… **

**People who know me IRL will notice that both Yuffie and Tifa have bits of me in them, but also things that are different from me… They will both share my taste in music, at least partially, I think violence is fun, but unlike Yuffie I prefer to watch, not take part, like Tifa, I like things that are out of the ordinary, and I do not understand the hair, clothes make-up conversations… Sure I think make-up is okay, I love clothes and I'm obsessed with my hair, but I don't get the part about talking about it for hours… There will be other similarities between them and me but I'm not bothering listing them all… Silli and Marie, you'll understand I guess… **

**I really, really hope you like this… I'm quite proud of it, really. It's so different from what I normally write, and it's a huge challenge, but it's fun, too… Cupcakes for reviewers… Haha, that's me being like Tifa, trying to avoid anything ordinary… So no cookies this time :p **


	3. Chapter 3: A pain that I'm used to

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow **

**Chapter 3: A pain that I'm used to**

Yuffie was curled up on Leon's couch, looking confused and a bit scared. She stared at her best friend for a while. He was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, looking up at her, his eyes were full of unasked questions.

"I'm not gonna force you, Yuffie, but it might help if you talk about it."

"Yeah, maybe."

"What happened on Monday? There must have been something, you've been acting weird ever since."

"I talked to Tifa," Yuffie said, looking at her hands, "I didn't ask her out or anything, I didn't even try to flirt with her. We just talked.

I was eating my lunch outside cause the cafeteria was crammed. I was sitting under that tree you know, the big one, what kind of tree is that?"

"An ash."

"Ash, okay. So, I was sitting under the ash, eating my lunch, and then Tifa came and asked if she could sit there with me. She asked me if I was a new student or something, and I said I wasn't. She told me that she had seen me this morning, and hadn't recognized me, which she found weird, cause I was one of the few people in the entire school who didn't look as dull as dishwater. Then she just shrugged and said something about not knowing all the freshmen yet. We ate in silence. That was a messed up sentence. _We ate in silence_. I don't talk like that, do I? Now I'm rambling here, sorry, I'll get back to the story. So, anyway, we ate and then she asked if I wanted to go for a walk. And then we walked. She did most of the talking. She talked a lot about winter, and then she mentioned something about the first snow, and then all of a sudden she stopped talking and looked really sad. I asked what was wrong, and she said it was nothing important, she was just a bit sad because she had broken up with her girlfriend, Larxene or whatever she's called, and now she wouldn't have anyone to share the first snow with. I guess she finds snow romantic or something. Then she forced a smile and told me she was better of without her. I asked why, and at first she just mumbled something, but then she kind of opened up and told me the whole story of their relationship. Turns out Larxene was really awful to her. Apparently she was cheating on her and not even making an effort to try hiding it. Tifa says her friends were trying to convince her that she deserved better, and that Larxene was bad for her, but she refused to listen to them. I think she still feels really bad about that. She told me she'd been really mean to them before the break-up. But Larxene didn't just cheat on her. She was really awful to Tifa, always comparing her to other girls and saying things like "Why can't you look more like her?" and "Maybe if you did your hair like that girl you wouldn't look like such a mess". Stuff like that. But the worst part is that Tifa didn't just end it. I don't know why, I guess she thought Larxene would change or something. Or maybe she actually believed that rubbish she was told about not being pretty enough and stuff.

Anyway, she pretty much lost contact with her friends, both because she was spending pretty much all her time with Larxene, and because she didn't like them telling her that she shouldn't let Larxene treat her like that. And then when she finally ended the relationship, which had lasted for over a year, by the way, how could she stay in a relationship with a girl like that for so long? Anyway, when she ended it, her friends welcomed her back as if nothing had happened. She kept going on and on about how she didn't deserve friends like Seifer and Zexion. I think those two are her only friends. Imagine if they'd rejected her after she broke up with Larxene? Do you think she would have managed to keep going alone? She told me they were really supportive and stuff when she was feeling down, and listened to her talking and held her while she cried and gave her advice when she didn't know what to do. I think she feels really, really, really bad for the way she treated them, and I don't think she's got much self-esteem. I bet Larxene totally ruined her confidence. She doesn't seem to think she's worth anything.

You know, I think she cuts herself. Actually I'm sure she does. Have you noticed how she's always wearing something around her wrist? Like on Monday she was wearing lots of ribbons in different shades of purple. When I said it looked cool, she got this panicked look on her face for a few seconds, then she covered it up with a smile, but I could tell she was faking. Her eyes looked so scared, and all the way back she was clenching her wrist so hard her knuckles were white. I just feel so bad for her. She's just been in a relationship with the biggest bitch in the world, yet she thinks _she's_ worthless."

Leon had been quite the entire time while Yuffie talked. He still had the same expression on his face, but the questions in his eyes were gone, replaced by worry. Yuffie knew he would worry so much about her that he'd forget thinking about himself, that was why she hadn't wanted to tell him about her conversation with Tifa. Yuffie looked down at her wrists. They were still covered in scars. Some of those cuts had been so deep that the thin white lines they had left would never fade completely. She'd been cutting for months when she finally couldn't take it anymore and told Leon everything, begging him to help her quit. He took away her pocketknife and her razors, and spent hours listening to her talk about her problems, helping her get through.

She didn't really know why Tifa's cutting made her so upset. Maybe it was because she saw so much of herself in the other girl. That feeling of never being good enough, of being worthless. She knew what it felt like when you sat there with your knife, that feeling of control. She knew how wonderful it was to forget the emotional pain for a while, because the physical pain was bigger. But she also knew that as the agony dwindled away the emotional pain came back, and for every cut it would be a little harder to forget the hurt inside, and every time it would come back a little stronger. She knew so well what Tifa was going through, yet she could not think of a way to help her.

She looked desperately at Leon

"Help me, Leon," she said, "please."

-

Tifa looked up as Seifer entered her room. She pulled discreetly at the left sleeve of her black shirt, making sure her wrist was covered.

"What's bugging you, Tee?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Nothing," she lied.

"Yeah, right. Come on, I know something's wrong."

"You read me like a book, don't you? I'm sorry, I know I'm being silly and everything, it's just I've kind of been thinking about Larxene a lot lately." She could feel the familiar pricking behind her eyelids that meant she would be crying like a baby any moment.

"You shouldn't be. You're way to good for her. She treated you like dirt, and you're better off without her."

Tifa was weeping silently now. Tears rolling down her cheeks. Seifer sat down next to her and put his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried until she didn't have any tears left.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked when she had stopped crying. She nodded silently, and breathed slowly a few times to calm herself.

"I know I shouldn't miss her, and I know she was bad for me and everything, it's just earlier this week I was thinking about how I hoped it would snow soon, and it reminded me of the first snow last year. It was such a wonderful day. It was freezing cold, so Larxene and I had wrapped ourselves in scarves and sweaters and big jackets and we were on our way to this little café where they have the best cocoa in the world, when suddenly it started snowing. There was no wind so the big flakes were falling silently down, down, down. It was so beautiful. And we stood there between the snowflakes, hugging each other to stay warm. It was so romantic. When I think about moments like that I kind of forget all the bad stuff."

"It's perfectly fine that you think of the good memories from time to time, just remember that even though there were some good times, there were so many times when she hurt you, and treated like you were just another accessory, not an actual human being with real feelings. She didn't treat you like you were worth anything."

"Maybe I'm not?"

"Don't be silly. Of course you are. To me you are. To me you're worth more than anything n the world. You're my best friend, and best friends are there for each other. Always remember, that, right? I'm here for you, no matter what. You are worth something, and whenever you doubt that just think of me. You are worth a lot. Friendship is the most important thing in the world, and I'll always be you're friend."

She smiled weakly. "Thank you," she whispered.

"I want you to promise me something, alright?"

"Sure."

"Promise me that if there is anything wrong, and you need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, remember that I'm there for you. Remember that I'll always be your friend. Remember that to me you are worth more than and the gold and diamonds and pearls in the world. Promise me that, okay?"

"Promise."

**--------**

**Another chapter. Woot. When I started writing this story was planning on making Tifa really cold and distant and ice-queen-ish, but sometimes things don't work out like I've planned. Before I knew what was going on she was suddenly human and sad and vulnerable, and I started to like her. **

**Title from a Depeche Mode song. "Pain that I'm used to" obviously refers to the cutting. It's like the physical pain you get from cutting is the pain you're used to, and the emotional pain is new and scary and definitely not something you're used to. **

**As always, hope you like it… Candy canes for reviewers (yes, I know that's more of a x-mas thing, but still…)**


	4. Chapter 4: Lovefool

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow **

**Chapter 4: Lovefool**

For the umpteenth time Cloud wondered where Leon had been lately. He hadn't seen him since last Friday. The boy had been at the coffee shop almost every day for as long as Cloud could remember, and now he hadn't been there in a week. This was beyond strange. He hoped the reason Leon was staying away from the place had nothing to do with him. He'd left so abruptly. It had been stupid. He'd panicked when he realized he might be falling for a boy he hardly knew.

He sipped his coffee and listened to the music coming from the stereo behind the bar. It was "Lovefool" by the Cardigans. How appropriate. He was a fool. A fool in love. Wait, in love? Was he in love? Sure, he might have a crush on Leon, but _in love_? Maybe he was.

The bells above the door chimed, and he looked up quickly, before looking back down at his book when he saw that it wasn't Leon. God, he was obsessed. The next time the bell sounded he decided not to look up. It wouldn't be the person he hoped for anyway.

"Um… Hi…" it took a few seconds before Cloud realized that someone was talking to him. He looked up, and his heart skipped several beats when his eyes met Leon's.

"Hi. Haven't seen you in a while. Any particular reason you've been avoiding this place?"

Cloud could tell Leon was having a silent argument with himself about whether to tell the truth or just make up some excuse.

"I was afraid to meet you again." Truth won, it seemed.

"Huh? Afraid to meet _me_? Am I that scary?"

"No, you're not scary, it's just… You… You kind of left in a hurry last time, and I thought I might have done or said something wrong."

Cloud decided to be one hundred percent honest, for once. He told Leon everything. How he'd been afraid that he was falling for a boy he hardly knew. How he'd been sitting in his corner every day for a week, hoping that Leon would come back. How his hearts had skipped a few beats when their eyes met. Leon smiled, and reached out a hand to touch Cloud's spiky blond hair. He sat down, They sat next to each other, close together. Leon with his head on Cloud's shoulder, Cloud with both his arms around Leon.

-

Leon was standing outside Yuffie's door. He could hear music. Nick Cave. That meant she was feeling sad or lonely or depressed. Her door was covered in stickers. Mostly band names. The Cure, Depeche Mode, Nick Cave, Muse, Radiohead, White Stripes. Here are there you could spot a rainbow, or maybe a heart with the words "I love girls". Yuffie and the closet didn't get along. That was one of the things she and her mother argued about. Her mother didn't like Yuffie flaunting her sexuality, and Yuffie didn't like hiding it.

Leon opened the door and walked into Yuffie's room. It was… messy. Clothes were strewn all over the floor, a million CDs were lying around her stereo, half a dozen open books were lying next to her bed, her desk was so full of things that it was completely impossible to use it as anything other than a place to dump stuff. The doors of her wardrobe were open, and the content looked more like a big mess of black, gray, brown, green and purple than actual items of clothing. The walls were covered in posters and pictures. The inside of the wardrobe-doors was covered in photos she had taken. Many of them where of Leon, some where of her younger cousins Roxas, Sora and Naminé, some where of animals, one was of her older brother Vincent. He'd left a few years ago, and no one had heard from him since. There were no photos of the rest of her family, though. Not a single photo of her mother, or her father or her sisters.

A gigantic poster of her absolute favorite band in the world, The Cure, covered almost half of the wall opposite from the door. Several smaller The Cure-posters covered the rest of the wall. It was her "The Cure-wall", as she called it. The rest of the walls were covered in other posters, there were even some posters in the ceiling. Over her door there was a big rainbow-banner.

"Do you _ever_ tidy up in here?" Leon asked in disbelief.

"Nah, not really," Yuffie said while she threw some stuffed animals off her bed so that he could sit on it. For some reason she didn't have any chairs.

"How can you actually live in this mess?"

"Living in it is so much easier than tidying up, silly. I'm used to it."

"If you say so."

Leon sat on her bed, toying with one of the teddy bears that had been thrown on the floor to make space for him. He seemed to be hiding a smile.

"How come you're so cheerful today?"

"Well, you know how you told me that I should go to the coffee shop and see Cloud? I did. Yesterday."

"And…?"

"_And_ now he's my boyfriend."

Yuffie threw her arms around her friend's neck, hugging him so hard he had trouble breathing.

"That's so great! I knew you two were perfect for each other! This is awesome. I'm so happy for you, Leon."

She smiled, but her eyes were as sad as ever. Leon searched for words, but couldn't find any. Yuffie's eyes drifted to the rainbow-banner, her smile fading. She seemed to have forgotten that she had company. Leon was the first to break to silence.

"Yuffie, you need to talk to her."

"Who?"

"Tifa, of course. You're unhappy because she's unhappy. She needs help, and you need to help someone."

"But… How?"

"I don't know, but I promise you, we'll figure something out. As long as you're sad I can never be completely happy. I'll help you, Yuffie, always."

"Thank you, Leon," Yuffie's voice was so low it was barely a whisper.

"Come here." He pulled her into a hug, and she cried in his arms.

"Thank you," she whispered again.

-

Tifa was watching TV. Or rather, she was looking at the screen, but she wasn't paying attention. She was thinking about Yuffie. The two of them had barely said a word to each other since Monday. Talking to Yuffie had been so easy, but then she had panicked when the girl commented on the purple ribbons. She was pretty sure Yuffie knew that she didn't wear them because she thought they looked cool. She was afraid things would be awkward between them if they both tried to pretend that Yuffie didn't know.

Plus, there was the fact that the girl was one of the few interesting people in the school, that they had almost identical taste in music and that Yuffie was extraordinarily pretty, maybe even beautiful. She started wandering of into sweet fantasies of her and Yuffie dancing in the snow, but suddenly Yuffie's face turned into Larxene's.

Two day's earlier she had seen her ex walking past the window of the café where she worked a couple of afternoons a week. Larxene hadn't noticed her, but she'd noticed Larxene. The blonde had been holding hands with a redhead Tifa recognized as one of the girls Larxene had cheated on her with. After they broke up, she had avoided places where she knew her former girlfriend used to hang out, but of course she couldn't be sure that they wouldn't meet on a bus, or a café or something. She'd thought she was prepared to handle it, though. As if. When she saw her walking past the window with that red-haired girl, she'd dropped the glass she was wiping, then, instead of cleaning up the mess she'd made, she'd stood frozen to the spot, staring at the street for several minutes after Larxene had disappeared.

Why did her stupid ex always have to ruin everything? Just when she thought she was finally over her, and falling in love with Yuffie, she'd seen her with that other girl, and she'd been shocked to discover that she was in fact jealous of the redhead. She thought about her old flame and her newfound sweetheart. She had to suppress a laugh when she thought about how Yuffie would react if she knew that Tifa thought of her as her "sweetheart". Suddenly she remembered her promise to Seifer. She walked over to the phone to give him a call, but just as she was about to dial the number to Seifer and Zexion's apartment, the phone rang.

"Hi, this is Tifa," she said, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt.

"Hello, honey. How have you been?" the low, raspy voice was all too familiar.

"Why are you calling, Larxene?"

**---------**

**Oooooooooooo, cliffhanger… Kinda… **

**What does Larxene want? Will Leon and Yuffie find a way to help Tifa? Will Cloud and Leon have a good relationship? What is Leon's family background? Will we ever get to know anything about Cloud, apart from the fact that he likes to read and that he's obsessed with Leon? Why did Yuffie's brother, Vincent, leave home? Is the redhead Larxene's girlfriend, or just her playmate? Will Yuffie get into a fight soon? And, last, but not least, why on earth do Seifer and Zexion share an apartment? Find out on the next episode of "Fifteen feet of pure white snow".**

**I thought I'd explain the title of the story a little better. As I reveled to you in this chapter, Yuffie listens to Nick Cave when she's feeling down (so does Tifa, but you're not really supposed to know that yet), and Tifa has some sort of obsession with snow. Snow will be an important part of this story, and the phrase "Fifteen feet of pure white snow" will be used on several occasions, especially by Tifa (for instance, it will be the first wish on her x-mas wish list)… **

** Title from song by The Cardigans... I guess this song is the only so far that wouldn't fit Yuffie's taste in music, but she'll just have to live with it... Oh, wait, Yuffie has _my_ taste in music, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I love this song, so she has to love it too... :P**

**Message to Silli: I hope you noticed that Yuffie called Leon "silly"?! That was for you… Now you have to be eternally grateful to me!!! Muhahahahaha!!! (Muhaha, flowers!!!)**

**Please, please, please review!!! If you have any suggestions for thing to use in later chapters I'd love to her them (can't guarantee I'll use them, of course, but if you suggest something I'll definitely consider it… I don't think I want to do any Lemon or Lime in this story, though…), and I'd like opinions on who should be the first to get the honor of getting into a fight with Yuffie. It can be KH character or a FF character, and he/she doesn't have to have been mentioned earlier in the story… I'd prefer if it was a guy, though (it's so fun when the girls beat the boys to pulp, right?), but if you want to you can suggest a girl… I'm just saying there is a bigger chance that the person will be a boy… But don't worry, she'll get into more fights, I'm just wondering who she should beat up first… I want to make a big thing out of that fight… I'm thinking of doing this public-area-with-lots-of-people-to-watch thing… I need to stop now, or the author note will be as long as the story… I love you if you review!!!**


	5. Chapter 5: Cigarettes and chocolate milk

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 5: Cigarettes and chocolate milk**

After Leon left, Yuffie went over to her desk and grabbed a notebook from one of the drawers. She lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling. The notebook was as empty as it had been when she'd opened it. She and Leon had talked for ages. She'd talked about how worried she was for Tifa, and he'd talked about how they could help her. Before he left he'd told her that she should write down her thoughts and feelings. He claimed it would help. She didn't quite believe him, but then again, trying wouldn't hurt.

She looked at the blank page. **_Tifa_** she scribbled on the top. Beneath she wrote down various words. _Beauty, self-injury, depression, snow, music, love, shame, pride, gratitude._ All were word that described Tifa, or her feelings for the girl. Somehow she felt this wasn't exactly what Leon had wanted her to write. It was just keywords. She had a feeling he wanted her to write some long description of her emotions.

She threw one last glance at the words, and decided that this wasn't going to work. She walked down the stairs, planning on watching TV in the living room. When she saw that her mother and sisters were there she decided she'd rather take a walk.

-

She was walking down the street with her hands in her pockets. Her huge earphones made her head look small. Something hit her shoulder. She turned off the music and turned around to see what had hit her, and who had thrown it. She glared at a blond boy standing in front of her with a couple of small stones in his hand. If looks could kill…

"Fuck off, Tidus, what the hell did you do that for?"

Tidus didn't answer her question.

"What are you listening to?" he asked.

"Depeche Mode. Not that it's any of your business."

"Depeche Mode. Right. They suck," he looked at her challengingly. The fool didn't know who he was messing with. Telling Yuffie that her music sucked was the easiest way in the world to start a fight. And most people who started a fight with Yuffie lost. Badly. Was the guy hoping to get his nose broken or something? Well, he was about to get his wish granted.

Before Tidus had time to realize she was attacking, he found himself sitting on the sidewalk with a throbbing pain on the left side of his head. Yuffie was famous for kicking fast and hard. And for hitting what she aimed at. Which was usually someone's head.

The boy got to his feet quite quickly, though. He hurled himself at Yuffie and punched her in the face. She would have a black eye tomorrow. She hit him back, making his nose bleed. She hoped it was broken. Then he kicked her in her stomach, making her gasp for air. Her anger had turned to fury, she kicked him square in the face. If her punch hadn't broken his nose, that kick certainly had. Both Yuffie and Tidus were getting angrier and angrier. They hit and kicked and screamed and attempted to rip off the other person's hair. Soon they were both had bleeding noses, and eyes that would be black in a few hours. In addition to his broken nose, Tidus had a swollen lip, a throbbing headache, and trouble walking because Yuffie had kicked his knee. Yuffie had a trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth, some toes that felt like thirteen elephants had stepped on them, and two of her teeth were broken. They were both exhausted, but none of them wanted to be the one that gave up. Quite a lot of people had gathered around to watch, and they both had their reasons for not wanting to seem the weaker of the two. Tidus because he was a boy, and Yuffie because she was… Well, she was Yuffie. She had a reputation to live up to.

"Hey! You quit that _now!_" a voice yelled. Yuffie felt a pair of strong arms around her waist, pulling her away from Tidus. She glared at the person holding her. Her fists stopped hammering as she recognized his face. She looked at her brother, paralyzed.

"Vi… Vin… Vincent?"

"Long time no see, eh? It's good to see you, sis."

She didn't answer. She had thrown her arms around her brother's neck, and was clinging to him like her life depended on it. He laughed and hugged her back.

-

Tifa's hands were shaking as she put down the receiver. She'd been on the phone with Larxene for more than twenty minutes, and she still didn't know what the girl had wanted. Her ex had spent twenty minutes talking about how much she missed her. Tifa had spent twenty minutes working up the courage to ask one question.

"That redhead I saw you with earlier this week, is she your girlfriend?"

"Would I be on the phone with you for twenty minutes telling you how much I miss you if I had a girlfriend?" Larxene always answered with a question if she felt cornered.

"So she's just your playmate, then? Your little toy?"

Instead of an answer she got the sound of Larxene hanging up.

She wanted to talk to someone, anyone, just a person that wasn't her cruel, disloyal, dishonest one-time significant other. She tried to dial Seifer's number, but her hands were shaking too much. She grabbed her jacket and walked out the door.

However, her feet were just as determined to ignore her commands as her hands had been. Instead of walking in the direction of Seifer's apartment, her feet led her toward Yuffie's house.

A few minutes later she was knocking on the front door of a big red house.

"Is Yuffie home?" she asked the person she assumed was Yuffie's father.

"No, I'm sorry, she's not here. She left a little while ago, looking angry. As usual. I don't know where she is. As usual."

"Oh. Okay. I guess I'll just talk to her at school on Monday."

"Do you want me to give her a message?"

"No… No, it's okay. I'll talk to her at school on Monday."

Yuffie's father looked at her with a strange expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" she replied absentmindedly. She walked away, absorbed in her own thoughts. Twice she bumped into people, but she hardly noticed.

-

"So, tell me, what's happened since I left?" Vincent looked questioningly at his sister.

"Not much, really. Dad pretty much leaves me alone, mom is pretty horrible as usual, the pageants are as boring as ever." 'The pageants' was Yuffie's nickname for her sisters.

"How 'bout your social life? Does it even exist?"

"Sure it does. It's called 'Leon'."

"Your answers aren't very elaborate, you know that?"

"You want elaborate? Okay. Here we go. I have one friend. His name is Leon. He is 16 years old. He goes to my school, but we only have French, music and social science together. He's tall, his hair is brown, he always wears jeans and a leather jacket, he lives by himself since his parents kicked him out, he has a boyfriend named Cloud, who is the biggest bookworm in the world, and that's about it."

"He has a boyfriend? Cool. How 'bout you? You have a boyfriend?"

Yuffie laughed and pointed at her wrist. She was waering several rainbow-colored bracelets with phrases and words like "I kiss girls", "Dyke" and "I wanna sleep with your girlfriend".

"'I wanna sleep with your girlfriend'. Awesome. So no boyfriend, then. A girlfriend?"

Yuffie looked away, and mumbled something.

"Huh?"

"Nope. No girlfriend." She looked at him stubbornly. "Why do you care so much? My love life is none of your business!"

"Yuffie, you're not fooling anyone with that attitude. You're so obvious, sis. I know there is something you're not telling me. Come on, I'm your brother, you can tell me everything."

"On one condition."

"What condition?"

"That _you_ tell _me_ everything. Why'd you leave? Where the hell have you been? How long are you staying here? Are you gonna leave again without even bothering to say goodbye? You left. You left me. In the middle of the bloody night, without even taking two fucking minutes to say goodbye. I was a fucking twelve year old tomboy. You're my brother. You were my hero, goddammit. And you fucking left me. You left me with those stuck-up little wannabe-beauty-queens, and a dad who's fucking never there, and _mom._ You left me with _mom_! She's the fucking devil in human form! I mean, leaving like that, in the middle of the night, not saying goodbye, not leaving so much as a note. And then I don't hear a word from you in four years, and now all of a sudden you're back, and you act like nothing's fucking happened. Why didn't you say goodbye, Vincent?"

He looked at her sadly. His voice was so low it was barely audible.

"I'm sorry, Yuffie. I should have told you I was leaving. I should have taken you with me. I did say goodbye, though… Kinda… You were asleep and I didn't want to wake you, but I did kiss you goodbye." His voice was even lower now. "That's the only time I've ever cried. When I left you behind. I didn't care about leaving mom and dad and the girls, but leaving you felt like… like… I don't know… It felt awful. I swear, Yuffie, leaving you behind like that… It's the hardest thing I've ever done."

"But, why? Why couldn't I come with you? Why did you have to leave in the first place?"

"I don't know. I just couldn't take it anymore. Like you said, mom _is_ the devil in human form. I couldn't stay. I thought that if I left then maybe, just maybe, mom wouldn't yell so much. I thought that if you guys didn't have to listen to mom and me arguing all the time, maybe you'd be happier or something like that."

"I guess I understand that. Sorta. But where did you go? You were fifteen years old! Where the heck does a fifteen-year-old go when he doesn't have a home anymore?"

"At first I stayed at a friends house, He lives a few hours away, so I figured it was far enough away from the parents. I was planning on staying there until I found a place of my own, but his parents got suspicious and wanted to call the old folks and stuff, so I left. I spent a week or so on different couches, and then I met this guy who needed someone to share his apartment with, 'cause the rent was too much for him alone."

"Okay. You had an answer to that, too. But why did you come back? Are you gonna leave again?"

"I don't know why I came back, but I'm not leaving. I came back 'cause of you, I guess. I kinda had the feeling you needed your big bro'. Don't know how I knew, but I think I was right. Judging from your bruises that blond kid wasn't the only one you've been in a fight with lately. And you seem distracted and edgy. Something's wrong. You're not happy, Yuffie."

"Of course I'm not happy. As Leon says, I have three moods, annoyed, angry and horny," she glared at a building as they passed it. "Hey, that's Leon's words, not mine!" she added defensively when she realized that her brother was suppressing a laugh. His worried expression was soon back, though.

"But seriously, sis. You're down. I can tell. You can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then, let's talk. Okay?"

-

Tifa knocked on the door to Seifer and Zexion's apartment. Why was she knocking? Couldn't she just walk right in? This place was like her second home. She spent almost as much time there as she did at her own place. Zexion opened the door.

"Teeeeee! I haven't seen you in, like, a day or something. I've missed you."

"And I've missed my favorite little emo-kid." Tifa always called Zexion 'my favorite little emo-kid', which he hated.

"I told you not to call me emo!"

"And I told you you're my favorite little emo-kid. But anyway, can I come in? I kind of need someone to talk to."

"Sure. Seifer just came back from the grocery store, and I'm pretty sure he bought some chocolate ice cream. You look like you could need some of that right now."

More than half the ice cream Seifer had bought was gone when Tifa finally said anything.

"Do you have any chocolate milk?"

She drank the chocolate milk, and lit herself a cigarette.

"Who told you it's okay to smoke in my kitchen?" Seifer demanded.

"It's my kitchen, too. You have no right to call it your kitchen," Zexion said.

In Tifa's opinion Seifer did have the right to call it 'his' kitchen. The most complicated "meal" Zexion could make was toast, while his blond flatmate was an aspiring chef.

"You guys, there's one thing I don't understand. Why do you share this place?"

"It's convenient, I guess," Seifer said. "I can't afford to live on my own, and neither can Zexion."

"Yeah, I get that. I know why neither of you can live on his own, but how did the two of you end up together?"

"Coincidence. Mutual friend. I told a friend of mine that I wanted to get a place of my own, but I couldn't afford it, and he told me he knew this guy who was looking for a flatmate."

The boys studied her with identical, worried expressions.

"What?"

"You look even more tired and miserable than usual. What's happened?" Zexion's voice was worried.

"Larxene called."

"Larxene called?" they said simultaneously.

"Yeah. She spent twenty minutes telling me how much she missed me. I asked her if that redhead I saw her with a few days ago was her girlfriend, and she didn't answer properly of course. She just said something like 'Would I be telling you how much I miss you if I had girlfriend', and I said 'So she's just your playmate, then? Your little toy?' and she hung up on me."

-

One her way back from Seifer and Zexion she felt relived and… free. She felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. A burden called 'Larxene'. The memories of the first snow, seeing her ex with that girl, the phone call. It felt like all that had been leading up to this moment when she would be free. Like there was some sort of limit to how much pain she could feel, and when she reached that limit she'd just break through it, and everything would be okay.

Of course, everything wouldn't be okay forever, and Larxene would cause her more pain. She'd be hurt again and again, but right then, right there, everything was okay.

"Oy, Tifa!"

She looked up and saw Yuffie waving at her. Next to her was a boy she'd never seen before. He was tall, with black hair and pale skin. His clothes were all black and red. He looked a bit scary.

"Um, hi Yuffie. Who's that?" she pointed at the boy.

"That Vincent. He's my big brother."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah, he's been out of town for a few years, but he's back now."

"I thought you said you're social life was called 'Leon'?" Vincent asked his sister.

"Yeah, I did say that, didn't I? I didn't know Tifa until a week ago or something like that, and I guess I haven't really gotten used to the fact that I have more than one friend."

"Is that so? Well, anyway, I've gotta go. I have some stuff to do. I'll give you a call later, and we'll talk about the whole situation, okay? It was nice meeting you, Tifa."

She watched Vincent as he walked away. He seemed mysterious. Distant. But he and Yuffie obviously had some kind of special bond.

"What did he mean by 'the whole situation'?" Tifa asked.

"The situation with my mom, and where I'm gonna live now he's back. I wanna go live with him, so I don't have to see the parents every day, but we don't know if it's possible. I mean, I'm sixteen years old. Am I allowed to leave home if my mom doesn't want me to?"

"I don't know. I guess she can't force you to stay."

"Anyway, why are you so happy?"

Tifa told her the whole story. About seeing Larxene that day, about the phone call, about talking to Seifer and Zexion, about feeling free. Then she told her that she'd walked to her house before she went to see Seifer and Zexion.

"You came to me?" Yuffie asked, beaming.

"Yeah, my feet kinda just took me there. I guess I had some sort of subconscious wish to see you."

-

They walked along the streets for a while, until they reached a park. They found a bench and sat quietly next to each other. They felt no need to say anything. Tifa turned her head to look at the girl sitting next to her. The wind ruffled Yuffie's hair. The tip of her nose was red from the cold. Before she knew what she was doing, Tifa had reached out her hand and touched the girl's cheek. Instead of pulling away, Yuffie gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Both girls blushed and looked away.

"What the hell is wrong with us? Were blushing like schoolgirls!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"We _are_ schoolgirls," Tifa reminded her.

"Yeah, but still…" She was cut off as a pair of lips touched hers.

**----------**

**I guess I could just stop here, all happy ending and stuff, but I kinda feel like there are too many loose ends… I mean, we don't even know anything about Cloud and Leon's relationship. And what's up with the whole Larxene-thing? Will she ever leave Tifa alone? And Yuffie mentioned something about Leon's folks kicking him out, why'd they do that? And what will Yuffie go live with Vincent or will she stay at home with her family? Or maybe she'll move in with Tifa? **

**All in all, far too many loose ends. Plus, I want this to be more angsty. To be completely honest I want to kill off one of the characters. I was considering letting Tifa commit suicide, but I don't think that will work now. Maybe I'll kill Larxene? Y'all wouldn't hate me if I did that, would you? I mean, it's not like she'll ever turn nice or anything. She's gonna be evil until the end of the story. But somehow I feel like killing Larxene wouldn't be sad enough. But I don't want to kill one of the persons I really like. Maybe I could kill Cloud? We don't really know anything about him, so I'm not really as attached to him as I am to the other characters. I don't know… Wait, idea! Vincent and Larxene will have some sort of 'history' together, and then I can make up a lot of new and complicated problems for everyone, and the story can be really long and angsty. I want it to be long and angsty. Well, actually I don't care that much about how long it is, but I do want it to be angstier. God, I'm obsessed with the idea of this being an angst-story… I want angsty, and I want sad ending… I want people to cry because my story is so sad… **

**I think the problem is that I'm writing this in 3rd person. When I write in 1st person I have no problem making the stories sad, and I have no problem killing people. Or maybe the problem s that I have to many people, and I can't just kill one of them and end the story, cause a death would create LOTS of new issues, and then I'd have to solve those before I could end the story. **

**I guess I'll do a chapter about Cloud and Leon, and then I might write something from Vincent's POV. Well, it's not really his POV, since I write this in 3rd person, but you see what I mean, right? **

** Title from a song by Rufus Wainwright... That man is a _GENIUS_!!! He's the God of music!!! Go buy his CDs, or download it or whatever you want, just get it, listen to it and become addicted to it!!!  
**

**I don't know if I like this chapter or not… I like the parts with Vincent in them, but I dislike some of the dialogues. I feel like I'm repeating the same lines over and over again. Like first Seifer's telling Tifa he's there for her, and then Leon's telling Yuffie he'll help her with the whole Tifa-thing, and then Vincent telling Yuffie that she can tell him everything, since he's her bro' and stuff… And I also feel like this isn't very well written (no, I'm not talking about typos)… The whole thing with a plot and many characters and stuff kinda gets in the way of my usual style, and I find it difficult to write stuff like this… Normally I write in 1st person, or in 3rd person with only one or two characters, and the characters seldom have names. I hope you guys like this story better than I do… I feel like I have a good plot, but I'm handling it wrong… Rushing some things, and delaying others, and then all the events end up at the wrong place and time… I'm not used to dealing with time. I don't write about time. I write then this happened and then that happened and I don't bother it there is two minutes or a week between 'this' and 'that'…**

**Please, please, please review :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Hold on to me

**READ THIS: **

**Important note from the author: **

**Now, guys, before we start this thing, I need to ask you all a question... The reason I'm asking now, and not at the bottom is that I think it's more likely that someone will actually read it here... The thing is, I now have the possibility to tie all the loose threads together with a few more chapters, and this whole story will end up with something like 10 chapters, _or_ I could add a few more problems, and then solve them, which will make the story alot longer, but also clear up a few things that has to do with, among others, Larxene, Vincent, Leon's and Cloud's families, Seifer and Zexion... I would love to write the long one, but if you guys won't read this if it get's to long, I will try to end it soon... I want OPINIONS here, guys!!! If you won't read it if it gets to long, don't keep quiet because you think I'll be mad at you, tell me, so I can keep my readers happy... That is the most important thing, keeping my readers happy... I'm not publishing my stories here so I can read them, I'm publishing them here so that YOU GUYS can read them...**

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 6: Hold on to me**

_Beep, beep, beep._ Leon opened his eyes slowly. Who the hell was calling at 06.43 in the bloody morning? He checked the display. _Incoming call: Cloud_. Of course it was Cloud. He should have known. Only two people ever called him, and there was no way Yuffie would be awake at this hour.

"Why the hell are you fucking calling in the middle of the bloody night?"

"Hi, sweetheart," Cloud sounded cheerful. Cheerful! At 06.43 in the morning! "You sound just like Yuffie, you know. All that swearing, that's kinda her thing, don't you think?"

"Of course it's Yuffie's goddamned thing, half her vocabulary consists of curses. But I asked you a question, why are you calling in the middle of the night?"

"It's not the middle of the night. It's early in the morning, best time of the entire day."

"To you, maybe. The rest of us need our beauty-sleep."

"Oh, you don't need no beauty-sleep, you're freaking gorgeous! But that's beside the point. The point is, can you meet me in fifteen minutes?"

"MEET YOU IN FIFTEEN MINUTES? Dude, are you off your rocker?"

"I know it's early, and I know you like to sleep late, but have you looked outside?"

"No, of course I haven't looked outside. You just woke me up a minute ago."

"Well, then I suggest you go to your window." Leon did as he was told.

The sight that met him was stunning. The sky was white. gray and cloudy, with a glowing edge where the first rays of sun were trying to push the clouds away. The real beauty, however, was the snow. Millions of big, white snowflakes were falling silently from above, covering the world in a soft, cold blanket. The ground was already covered in what must be several feet of white fluffiness. Not a single person was in sight. He didn't think he'd ever seen something so peaceful and serene in his entire life.

"Oh wow. I see why you had to call me. This is… this is… it's beautiful, Cloud."

"So we have a date, then? See you in fifteen minutes."

-

Leon was almost ten minutes late, but Cloud hadn't even checked his watch. He waited, patiently, watching the snow fall down, down, down, down, down. If he had to pick one moment to stay in forever, that was the moment he would choose.

He felt Leon's arms wrap around his waist. He laughed and turned around, planting a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips. The brunet grabbed his hand and started running, dragging him along.

"Isn't this wonderful, Cloud? I'm so glad you called me. Sorry if I was a little snappy."

"_If? _A _little?_" One pair of captivating blue eyes met another. There was more love in that one look than either of them would have been able to express with words. They laughed at each other.

Cloud tripped over nothing in particular, pulling Leon down with him. They kissed for what felt like a whole week, or barely a second. They rolled around in the snow, laughing and smiling. Now and then one of them would steal a tiny kiss from the other.

"We better get home. We're gonna get sick if we stay like this for the rest of the day," Cloud said reluctantly.

"Hey, if we get sick I don't have to go to school tomorrow and I can spend the entire day with you instead."

"We've got today, right? Lets go home and I'll make you some hot chocolate and we can just cuddle up on the couch and look at the snow falling outside the window."

-

"Fluffie! Breakfast is served!" Vincent shouted at his little sister. She'd spent the night on his couch, poor thing. He wondered what they were going to do when she moved in. Because she was moving in. Their mother hadn't been very pleased, but eventually she'd given up and allowed Yuffie to move out.

Yuffie appeared through the kitchen door, looking like she was asleep on her feet. The smell of coffee, scrambled eggs and bacon made her smile a little, but she didn't look any less sleepy. Then her eyes feel upon the scenery outside the window.

"Oh my God! Vincent, it's snowing! It's snowing! Look! Look at that, it looks like the world is covered in cotton. Look! Tifa is gonna be _ecstatic_!"

"Speaking of Tifa, are you gonna tell me about yesterday?"

Yuffie blushed slightly and looked away. "It was… pretty awesome. We walked and then we sat down in a park, and then we… uhm… then we kinda… kissed."

"That's great, Fluffie. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. Wait. What the hell did you just call me?"

"Huh? Fluffie?"

"Yes, 'Fluffie'!" she said 'Fluffie' like it was a swear-word. Well, like anyone else would have said a swear-word.

"What's wrong with me calling you Fluffie? It's cute! You're my lil' sis. I'm supposed to have a cute pet name for you."

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with it, _Vinnie_."

"Okay, now that's not fair. You are not allowed to call me that."

"But _you're_ allowed to call _me_ whatever you want?"

"You live under my roof, I make the rules."

"Yeah, cause mom made the rules when I was living under her roof."

"Well I'm not mom, am I, _Fluffie_?"

"Of course you're not, _Vinnie_."

"Okay, okay, I give up. I'll stop calling you Fluffie if you stop calling me Vinnie. Deal?"

Yuffie merely shrugged and started eating. She was looking out the window with a smile on her face.

"Holy mother of God and all her wacky nephews, Yuffie is smiling!" Vincent said in a teasing voice. Yuffie sent him a wide grin. He wondered who this girl was and what she'd done to his sister.

-

Cloud could feel Leon's eyes follow his every move. He didn't mind at all, of course. Despite his cold demeanor, the blonde was a sucker for attention.

"So how come you go to a private school, anyway?"

"My folks sent me there when I was a kid because they thought the stuff they were teaching me at public school wasn't challenging enough or something, and I guess I kinda like it there, so I just stayed there after they died. Why do you ask?"

"Just thought I'd try to get to know my boyfriend a bit. Tell me about your family."

"Not much to say. Mom and dad were killed in a car accident a few years ago, they left me with quite a lot of money, so I was able to support myself. I grew up as an only child, though I do have one sibling. Well, half-sibling. Don't know a thing about him or her. All I know is that my dad had a fling with this other woman almost two years before I was born, right after he and mom got married, and the woman got pregnant, but she refused him any contact with his son or daughter when she found out he was married. How about your family?"

"I don't have one. Not anymore." Leon's voice was bitter.

"But you had once? Come on, your not the only one who would like to know his boyfriend a little better."

"Had a big sister, she's dead. She was missing for a few days and then they found her body at the foot of a cliff. We never found out whether she fell of by accident or was pushed. Or if she jumped. I think she jumped. She didn't have a good life. She's better off where she is now. Wherever that is.

My parents wouldn't accept that their perfect daughter was either clumsy enough to fall off a cliff, of depressed enough to jump. They wanted to hire private investigators and what not. After Aerith died we argued a lot. They hated me for thinking she killed herself, and I hated them for not accepting and respecting her choice. Of course I understand how hard it was for them. It was bloody hard for me too, I mean, she was the most important person in the world to me. I truly believe she did what she thought was best, though. If she had been alive today, I don't think she'd be happy. I think she'd be depressed and stuffed full off prescription drugs that wouldn't help.

A month after we found out she was dead, they threw me out. I never really got an explanation, but I think they just couldn't deal with the fact that I understood and respected Aerith's choice."

Cloud didn't say anything. He moved over to the couch and sat down next to his boyfriend, putting his arms around him. Leon was shaking, apparently trying not to cry.

"It's okay, Leon. There is nothing you can do for her anymore. She did what she thought was best. Like you said, she's better off where she is now."

"I know. It's just… I miss her. I respect her choice, I really do, but I still wish she hadn't left me. I wish she wasn't gone. I miss her." A few tears rolled down Leon's cheeks, he did his best to conceal them, but he couldn't hide from Cloud.

"Of course you do. Even though she did what was right for her, it doesn't mean your not allowed to miss her. It doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry with her for leaving you. It doesn't mean you can't cry."

"I go to her grave every day, you know. I sit there and talk to her, even though I know she can't here me. I tell her how much I miss her, but that I respect her choice. She wasn't happy, and she found a way out."

Cloud pulled him into a tighter hug.

"You and Yuffie are the only human beings in the world who know all of this. I mean, obviously my parents know that they kicked me out and that Aerith's dead and stuff, but other than that no one else knows any of what I've told you."

"I'm glad you told me, Leon."

**-----------**

**And we'll just end it there. I was actually planning to do a cute little fluff chapter, but then Leon's family got in the way. Poor Aerith. This story is getting quite long, which was NOT the plan. The plan was two or three chapters… I have a feeling this will be a never-ending story… I think we'll at least reach ten chapters… That's an awful lot of chapters for me. **

**For those of you who wonder who Cloud's sibling is, I don't know… Open to suggestions… (And yes, Silli, that means that you are free to suggest Hayner or Demyx, and I might even _consider_ it, but don't expect this to turn into a Hayner/Seifer or Zexion/Demyx thing… The couples are Tifa/Yuffie and Leon/Cloud… I'm sorry, Silli, but that's how it is… Why don't you write a Hayner/Seifer-story and get off my case:P Plus, I think I might want him to have a sister)… I don't know if the brother/sister will even appear in this story, though… I'll consider giving him/her a role if I find a person I think fits… keep this in mind when you make suggestions, though: It's his _half-_sibling… It doesn't have to be someone blond with blue eyes (i.e. Roxas), it can be anyone… It could be Olette for that matter.**

**For those of you who wonder what the fuck happened to Larxene, and when will she reappear, and what will she do next, I don't know that either.**

**For those of you who wonder if Aerith really did kill herself, or if that's just something Leon thinks, the answer is that yes, she did commit suicide… I'm telling you this because I don't know if she'll be a part of any of the other chapters, so I figured I'd answer that question now before any of you went insane…**

**Silli has told me not to "think aloud" in my author notes, so I won't talk about what might or might not happen later on in the story.**

**Title from a song by The Black Sorrows…**

**I hope everyone liked this chapter…. I personally think it's one of the best so far… Vincent's scrambled eggs and bacon for reviewers…**


	7. Chapter 7: Save me

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow Chapter 7:**

**Save me**

_A dark figure is standing near the edge of a tall cliff. Leon is running, running, running. Faster than he has ever run before. His lungs are close to giving up, the food he ate an hour ago is threatening to leave his stomach in a rather unpleasant way, his legs can only keep going for so long, but he must reach her before it's too late. He must. _

"_AERITH!" he yells. "WAIT AERITH, DON'T DO IT! DON'T JUMP! PLEASE!"_

_The girl shows no sign that she's heard him. Instead, she takes another step towards the edge. _

_He is almost there, now. He reaches out a hand to grab her arm, but somehow he can't touch her. He is shouting as loud as he can, but she can't hear him. She takes one step forward, and then another step, and another. One more step, and she'll fall. With relief on her face, she takes the final step. _

_"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Leon screams. Tears are running down his cheeks. He watches her fall. There is nothing he can do. He can't save her. She doesn't really seem to be falling. It's more like she's floating slowly towards the ground. Her eyes are closed, and her face is completely free of any emotion. She looks like she has already passed on._

Cloud was watching Leon tossing and turning in his sleep. Wondering whether to wake him from his nightmare, or let him sleep. The brunet was muttering incoherently.

"No… Aerith… Don't… Please… No… Come back… Aerith…"

Cloud grabbed Leon's shoulders and shook him lightly. If anything, the boy seemed to grow more hysterical. He showed no sign of waking up. Cloud shook him again. Still no reaction. He started poking his boyfriend. After almost a minute of poking, and no reaction, Cloud was getting worried. That is, more worried than he'd already been. He couldn't bear seeing the boy he loved in such pain, but he didn't seem to be able to wake him, either. Out of sheer desperation he slapped his face as hard as he could.

"Noooo!" Leon's eyes were filled with panic, and his body was covered in sweat.

Cloud put his arms around the shaking boy. He curled up like baby, still trembling.

The blonde hugged him close, and whispered comforting words into his ear. At last Leon fell asleep in his boyfriends arms. Cloud watched him sleep for a while, until he fell asleep, too.

-

The boys woke up to the sound of Cloud's phone.

"Hi. It's Cloud."

"Is Leon at your place?"

"Yeah he's here, but I don't know if this is the best time to bother him, Yuffie. He's a bit shaky, he had this nightmare. About Aerith. Maybe I could help you?"

"Oh God, his nightmare came back?"

"Yeah. We talked about our families yesterday. I guess that's what triggered it. But we can talk about that later. You sound upset. What's wrong?"

"Can I come over? It's quite a long story."

"Sure."

-

"Okay, Yuffie. Tell us what's eating you."

Yuffie was sitting on Cloud's couch, next to said blonde. Leon was sitting on the floor.

"I don't know where to start. I guess I should start at the beginning, but I don't really know when that is. Well, it started yesterday I guess, but I don't know… Oh, what the heck. I'll start with the goddamned snow. I woke up, walked into the kitchen. Vincent had made me breakfast, and…"

She was cut off by Leon: "Vincent? Did I hear what I think I heard? Vincent as in your brother Vincent?"

"Oh shit, I totally forgot to tell you! Vincent is back. He came back last week. I met him on Saturday. He's back, and he's not going anywhere. He's got his own apartment and everything. I'm moving in with him this week. Well, I've kinda moved in already, but my stuff is still at the parents'."

"That's awesome, Yuffie!"

"Yeah, I know, but can we talk about my brother later? I kinda need some help here."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyway, he had made me breakfast, and we were just talking about random stuff. Then I saw the snow. The first thing I thought of was Tifa, obviously."

"Who's Tifa? Why did the snow make you think of her?" this time, the interruption came from Cloud.

"She's uhm… She's my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend?" Leon stared at his friend with a surprised expression. "Since when?"

"Since Saturday."

"You found your brother and got yourself a girlfriend, anything else happen on Saturday?"

"Nope. Well, I was in a fight with Tidus, and I kinda broke his nose, and he knocked out a couple of my teeth and crushed half the toes on my left foot, but that's no big deal."

Cloud stared at the two of them in disbelief. Yuffie had just said breaking a guy's nose, getting two of her teeth knocked out and having several toes smashed was no big deal. Leon looked like he agreed with her.

The brunet must have seen his boyfriend's expression, because he quickly explained: "It's no big deal to her, cause she gets in a fight every other day, and even though most of those fights leaves her with just a few bruises, she fractures something at least once a month. And she breaks other people's bones more often than they break hers. That's just Yuffie. She needs stitches every once in a while, too. I gave up stopping her a long time ago. She's just… violent."

"I'm not fucking violent! It's just that sometimes people don't know what's best for them, so I have to show them. Now, _back to my story_?" Yuffie said, staring furiously at her so-called best friend.

"Sorry. No more interruptions." Leon and Cloud said in unison.

"Okay. So the snow made me think of Tifa. Mostly because she loves snow, but also because she's been a bit down lately because of her ex and for some reason the snow reminds her of Larxene. So I decided I'd call her after breakfast. I ate scrambled eggs, toast and bacon, called Tifa, and no one answered. I thought she might still be asleep and watched TV for an hour or so. Then I tried calling her again, but she still didn't pick up. I got a bit worried, then. She always talks about how romantic she finds snow, so I thought she would have called me if she wanted to go for a walk or build a snowman or whatever. When she didn't pick up the third or the fourth or the fifth time I called, I got so worried I called Seifer to check if he knew what was going on. He didn't know where she was, but he told me that she'd been acting weird the last two days or so. I had noticed that, too. She seemed happy, for a change, but there was something more to it. Like it wasn't real happiness, or she wasn't telling me the real reason why she was so happy or something like that.

Seifer was really worried about her, too. He said she was the kind of person who always wanted to share stuff, so it wasn't like her to go enjoy the snow without calling me, or him and Zexion. He also said that the chances of her being asleep at half past eleven, in November, were less than zero. Apparently, from sometime in October and until the first snow arrives, she gets up at six am every morning, and sits by the window, watching the sky, hoping for some white fluffy stuff to fall from the clouds.

After talking to Seifer I went out to look for her. I went to her house, but all the windows were dark, and even though I knocked for at least ten minutes, she didn't open, so I assume she wasn't home. I went to the park, to a few cafés, all her favorite places, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I was really worried, but I talked to Seifer and Zexion and we agreed that we would wait until tomorrow, which is now today.

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to call her, off course. She didn't answer. Then I ate breakfast tried to call her at least ten times. I went over to her house, which was just as dark as it was yesterday. I didn't know what to do, so I tried to call you Leon, and you didn't answer, and then I called Cloud and you know the rest."

Two pairs of blue eyes stared at her. If she hadn't been so worried about Tifa, she would have laughed at how Cloud and Leon acted in the exact same way.

"Do you have _any_ idea where she is?" Leon inquired.

"No, you idiot, of course I don't. I've been sitting her for ten bloody minutes telling you that I don't have a freaking clue as to where the fucking hell she is!"

Cloud found Yuffie's extraordinarily short fuse a bit scary, but at the same time, he didn't think she would be the same without her anger. He was starting to like the odd girl, and since Yuffie was pissed off about 90 of the time, he figured it would be quite hard to like her without liking her bad temper.

"It was just a question. No need to get all worked up."

"I'm sorry, Leon. And, I should apologize to you, too, Cloud. I'm sorry I just called you out of nowhere, occupied your living room and made you listen to me talking about how I don't know where my girlfriend is. And anyway, I shouldn't yell at you guys. I'm just really stressed out, and I am going to go completely insane if I don't hear from her soon." She looked around the room desperately, as if expecting to find Tifa hiding behind a chair or something. Then all of a sudden she turned to Leon with a concerned look on her face.

"Cloud told me your nightmare came back. I… I don't know what to say. Do you need to talk about it?"

"Aerith's been dead for almost a year. I don't think she'll be offended if we delay our little chat about her until after we've found Tifa."

**-----------**

**I was gonna keep writing for a while, but I decided this was enough for one chapter… Only finding Tifa would take a few pages, and then I'd have to a) end with a cliffhanger, or b) use five pages or whatever to explain where Tifa's been. So you'll have to wait until the next chapter before you find out what's happened… **

**You know what kind of bugs me? This is turning way to dramatic… here I am, trying to write something romance/angst, and I end up with romance and a goddamned drama…**

**Still looking for suggestions on who Cloud's sibling should be (he or she won't appear until chapter 9 at the earliest… I do not have space for a new character in the next chapter)… **

**And does anyone have any ideas for concrete reasons why Aerith killed herself? Yes, she was depressed, but why? Bullying, boyfriend-troubles, parent-troubles, low self-esteem (if so, why?), mental illness, insert random reason here?**

**Title for this chapter is from an AMAZING song by the wonderful Aimee Mann…**

**Please, please, please review!!! Reviewers get Cloud-plushies…**


	8. Chapter 8: Forever my love

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 8: Forever my love**

Yuffie was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Leon was sitting in Cloud's living room, on a chair that really did belong in the kitchen, seemingly trying to burn holes in the wall with his eyes. Now and then he would cast a worried glance at his best friend on the floor. Zexion was sitting on the couch, curled up like ball with his face buried in his knees. Cloud and Seifer were sitting at the kitchen table, wearing serious faces and talking rapidly in hushed voices.

Leon looked out the window, and, after noticing how dark it was outside, checked his watch.

"Guys," he said, "we're not getting anywhere. Plus, it's late. We should all go home, get some sleep, do a little thinking and meet up tomorrow. Then we could call people, like her family or the cops or whoever, and we can go search for her."

"Do I have to go home?" Yuffie asked, "Vincent's not there, and I don't really feel like being alone right now. I don't know where he is, but he said he wouldn't be back until late at night tomorrow, at the earliest."

Cloud looked at her, his eyes were sad, but his expression was kind. "You can stay here if you want to. That goes for all of you, no one has to go home if they don't want to."

-

It turned out everyone would rather stay at Cloud's. Yuffie, Zexion and Seifer dragged mattresses, pillows and sleeping bags into the living room, and made themselves comfortable on the floor. Cloud and Leon were sleeping in Cloud's bedroom, obviously.

" 'Night guys," the blonde said before he and Leon left the trio.

Seifer lay awake muttering to himself for a little while, before drifting off into uneasy dreams. Yuffie and Zexion, however, couldn't sleep. They stayed up talking about the only thing they could focus on, Tifa.

"Judging from what Tifa told me," Yuffie started "Larxene was an unfaithful little bitch, and not very nice to her, but nothing worse. Judging from Tifa's behavior, there's something more. Something she's not telling me. What's the real story here?"

"Tifa refuses to call it that, but we're talking abusive relationship here. Big time emotional abuse. Cheating, insulting, controlling, toying with her emotions, the list goes on and on. I guess Tifa's told you that she pretty much lost all contact with me and Seifer for weeks or even months at a time."

"Yeah?"

"Did she tell you why?"

"She said it was both because she was spending most of her time with Larxene, and because you were always arguing about their relationship. She said she was a real bitch to you, and refused to listen when you told her she should dump Larxene and stuff."

"Well, I guess that's not a direct lie, but it's not the complete truth, either. She _was_ spending pretty much all her time with Larxene, but not always of her own free will. She was forced to spend a certain amount of time with the bitch, every day. If Larxene thought Tifa had been sending too much time with Seifer and me she would give her what she called a "penalty", which basically meant that she told her that she wasn't allowed to she any friends until a certain date. One time she got a "penalty" that lasted for two months.

Larxene was pretty manipulative, too. When Tifa had been arguing with me and Seifer, and came to her "girlfriend" for comfort, what she got was a long list of why it was our fault, and she shouldn't be spending time with us."

Yuffie stared at him in disbelief. "Why didn't she tell me? She made it sound like the only problems were the cheating and a negative comment now and then."

"She didn't tell me either. She didn't want to tell anyone, but Seifer got her to talk, somehow. He told me all about it later. I knew even less than you. All I knew was that Larxene had cheated on her, but I didn't know how often, or that she made no effort to hide it. I don't know why she wouldn't tell. She claims she didn't think it was important, but then again, she claims the relationship wasn't abusive, too. I guess she's ashamed. I think she sees it as a sign of weakness that she couldn't bring herself to break up with Larxene."

"It's not a fucking sign of weakness. That bitch seriously messed up her concept of reality."

Zexion shook his head sadly.

"It's still a bit messed up," Yuffie continued "she's always going on about all the things she doesn't deserve, and how she's not good enough. You know what she said after our first kiss? She said I was too good for her, and that I should just forget about her. She thinks _I'm_ too good for _her_! I'm the maniac who gets in a fight every other day. I'm the one who skips half of my classes and fails at least five subjects. I'm the immature and irresponsible one. She's… I don't know… She's the best chick on the planet. She's smart, funny, kind, and beautiful. Just because she's made a few wrong choices in the past it doesn't mean that she's not good enough. If it's about wrong choices, she's the one who's too good for me. If I had a nickel for every stupid decision I've ever made… She's more than good enough for me. She's good enough for anyone."

"I know that, you know that, she doesn't. And the way you talk about her, it sounds like you're the best thing that could've happened to her. If someone can restore her confidence and self-worth, it's you. She needs someone who appreciates her for who she is, and gives her the positive attention and love she deserves, and you sound like the right person for the job."

Yuffie blushed, but she met Zexion's eyes and smiled at him.

"Maybe. I don't know. What I do know, though, is that I love her, and I'd do anything for her. I'd give her the moon, if she asked for it. God, listen to me. When did I turn into a cliché-person?"

They looked at each other in silence for a while. Even though she didn't know him very well, Yuffie felt like she could trust Zexion. She understood him, and she was pretty sure he understood her.

"We're not gonna get any sleep tonight, anyway, wanna raid Cloud's kitchen and see if we can find some candy and chocolate milk?"

"Sounds good."

-

Cloud couldn't sleep. He lay awake watching Leon. The brunet was muttering in his sleep, Cloud couldn't make out the words, but his voice was desperate. He seemed to jump from one dream to another every few minutes. He would lie still for a little while, and then suddenly his face would change and he'd start tossing and turning, his voice louder and angrier. Now and then he would cry and mutter about Aerith. Cloud felt awful seeing his boyfriend like this, but he didn't know what to do. He wondered if he'd ever felt this helpless before in his entire life.

-

Yuffie was searching for some chocolate sauce for the ice cream she'd found in the freezer. Zexion had just finished making cocoa, and was pouring the hot drink into a couple of mugs. A large pile of candy was stacked on the kitchen table.

"Wanna eat here or out in the living room?" Zexion asked.

"Living room," Yuffie replied quickly.

A few minutes later they were sitting on Yuffie's mattress, each with a mug of hot chocolate and a bowl of ice cream. The candy was lying in a heap between them.

"What I don't get is how she can just disappear like this." Yuffie glared at Zexion like it was his fault that Tifa was gone.

"Me neither. I have no idea where she could be. She doesn't have any contact with her family, and all her friends are in this house."

"What's with family-troubles, anyway? I live with brother, since my family suck. My mom hates me, and my dad isn't even aware that I exist. Cloud's folks are dead, Leon's threw him out after his sister killed herself, and you say Tifa has no contact with her family."

"I don't really have a family, either. I grew up with my Gramma, I don't know anything about my parents. They might be dead, or maybe they just didn't want me. Gramma never mentioned them. She died last year. Seems like Seifer's the only one who gets along with his family."

Soon the ice cream and cocoa was gone, and the pile of candy was shrinking fast.

"All this, sleeping on the floor, eating ice cream and candy, staying over at someone's house, it makes me feel girly. It's like we're having a bloody slumber party or something." Yuffie exclaimed.

"You're not much of a girly-girl, are you?" Zexion asked.

"Nope. I grew up with two sisters and a brother. The girls are just like those airheads at school. All they think about is make-up, hair and clothes. I never shared their interests, and they just didn't like me in general, so I ended up as this little tomboy and pretty much worshipped my big bro'. When he left four years ago I gradually dropped the boy's clothing, but I didn't quit snowboarding or martial arts or lots of other stuff he'd got me into. So I ended up like this. I don't know what I am. I'm not really a tomboy, definitely not a girly-girl. I'm not really a butch dyke, either."

"Do you really need a label?"

"No, I guess not. It would be kinda nice, though. It would give me a group I could belong to."

"As long as you have a label you like, I guess it's okay. I don't like labels, though. I guess I'm just sick of being called 'emo' and 'femme'."

"So you're the girl in your relationships, then?"

"I don't know. Probably. I guess it depends on the other guy, really. I've dated a few boys who were really, really feminine, but most of the guys I've dated have been more masculine than me."

"Speaking of dating, is there anything between you and Seifer?"

"Me and Seifer? Are you kidding me? We share an apartment, we're friends, that's all. No romantic feelings."

"Right. Is he into guys, anyway?"

"Yeah, I think he is."

"So basically, we're all gonna burn in hell, then. It just occurred to me that apart from the folks and my sisters, I don't know any straight people. I mean, you're gay, Leon and Cloud are gay, Seifer's gay, Tifa is gay of course. It would be a bit strange if my girlfriend was straight. I don't really socialize with anyone else. Oh, and there's Vincent, too. Obviously I socialize with him. He's a bit difficult to avoid, seeing as I live with him. He's bi, anyway."

"Don't think I know any straight people either. We're such a queer gang. All we need is a drag queen. Well, I guess we cloud always dress Seifer as a girl?"

They laughed for the first time since Tifa disappeared. Yuffie thought about how rare it was for her to get along with someone right away like she did with Zexion. She figured their deep affection for Tifa bound them together somehow.

"Tell me about you and Tifa," Yuffie begged, "how did you meet? How long have you know each other? Stuff like that."

"She basically saved me three ears ago."

"Saved you?"

"Yeah. You can say I didn't exactly hang with the best kind of people. I started smoking when I was twelve, lost my virginity at thirteen. I was drinking too much, smoking 50 cigs a day, fucking four different guys every week, I came really close to doing drugs a few times too. She found me when I was fourteen. If she hadn't gotten me out of that mess, I don't know where I would be today. Dead, probably. My Gramma was pretty much giving up on me, and she didn't even know half of the stuff I did. She would have kicked me out if Tifa hadn't helped me get my life sorted out."

"She's such an angel, but she can't see it. She saved you, she's the best thing that's happened to me in ages, she's a great friend, a great girlfriend. It just makes me feel so helpless, why can't she see how wonderful she is?"

"I don't know. I wish I knew, but I really don't."

"Does she cut herself?" Yuffie asked abruptly.

"Does she cut herself? I don't know. I've never thought of that. Now you mention it, I don't think it's unlikely at all. That would definitely explain why she always wears something around her wrist when she's not wearing long sleeves."

Yuffie decided to be open with Zexion. She showed him her wrist.

"See, I know what I'm talking about. I used to act exactly like that. Everyone thought I'd suddenly developed a great love for arm stockings, when I was really trying to hide the cuts."

"Why did you cut?"

"After Vincent left things basically went to hell for me. I failed lots of subjects, skipped school a lot. At home it was even worse. I was always arguing with mom. It was around that time my dad started to ignore my existence, too. I'd lock my self in my room all the time, and listen to music so loud the entire neighborhood could hear it. I didn't talk to anyone except Leon. One and a half years and one suicide attempt later I started cutting. Kept at it for half a year, had a nervous break-down, told Leon everything, and he helped me quit."

"Seems we both have a friend to thank for even being here now."

"Yeah. Without Leon I'm sure I would have tried to kill myself again. Probably would've succeeded, too. Sooner or later."

-

Cloud had finally fallen asleep. He had his arms around Leon, hugging the boy close to him. His boyfriend's presence seemed to calm the brunet. He'd stopped tossing around, and was hardly muttering anymore. He shifted a bit, moving closer to Cloud. His dreams weren't as clear anymore. Instead of seeing Aerith jump off that cliff, over and over again, he saw his sister smiling at him. Memories of their childhood. His sister teaching him the alphabet, the two of them running and talking and drawing and laughing. The memories melted together into Aerith's smiling face.

Leon wept in his sleep, and Cloud unconsciously pulled him closer.

-

"What if Larxene has done something to her?" Yuffie said suddenly. She and Zexion had been eating candy in silence for a while, when the thought hit her. Maybe Larxene had kidnapped Tifa or something.

"Like what? Kidnapped her?"

"For example. Or something else. I don't know. All I know is that there must be some sort of reason why Tifa is gone."

**------------**

**I was gonna let them find Tifa in this chapter, but it got too long. I hadn't planned for Yuffie and Zexion to be so talkative. I'm quite happy with this chapter, though. Now we know a bit more about Yuffie and Zexion. The only real mystery left is Seifer, but he's not very exiting, really.**

**Just to clear up their ages, if you can't do the math: Yuffie is 16, Leon is 16, Cloud is 17, Tifa is 18, Zexion is 17, Seifer is 18, Vincent is 19, Cloud's sibling (whoever that is) is 18. You could have figured that out for yourselves, though. Well, not Seifer, Cloud and Cloud's sibling's, and maybe not Leon's (though I think it's pretty obvious that he and Yuffie are the same age). Yuffie's is easy to figure out, cause it's four years since Vincent left and she was twelve when he left, therefore she must be 16. Vincent was 15 when he left, therefore he must be 19. Tifa is two years older than Yuffie, therefore she must be 18. Tifa 'saved' Zexion three years ago, he was 14 when she 'saved' him, therefore he must be 17. And Cloud's dad had an affair with that other woman almost two years before Cloud was born, therefore Cloud's sibling must be a little more than a year older than him, which makes him/her 18. Seifer's age is not mentioned, but since he gets along with his family it is reasonable to believe that the reason he doesn't live at home is that he is old enough to live by himself, at least 18.  
**

**Title from a song by Dexy's Midnight Runners. Which is, by the way, a very underrated band. They're awesome! The title seems weird, right. It's not weird at all. "Forever my love" refers to Yuffie and Zexion's deep affection for Tifa.**

**This story will probably be somewhere between 10 and 15 chapters if I don't introduce any new characters. I think I'll put Cloud's sibling (still don't know who it is, still open to suggestions) in there, though, so that would add another chapter at least. If I kill one or more of the characters that would add at least one chapter, too. And I kinda want a lover for Zexion (that lover would of course be Demyx. No, I'm not open to suggestions on that. No matter what you say, you won't make me change my mind. If Zexion is to get a boyfriend, that boyfriend is to be Demyx). That would add a chapter or two, also. Damn, if I add all the characters I wanna add, and kill off at least one charrie this thing will end up with 20 chapters or something. Would that be okay with you guys?**

**I love, love, love, love reviews, and as you see I need suggestions for Cloud's sibling, and opinions on whether to try to keep this below 15 chapters, or add new stuff and end up with 20 or something. I need your help with those decisions! Reviewers get leftovers from Yuffie and Zexion's slumber party.**


	9. Chapter 9: The sounds of silence

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 9: The sounds of silence**

"You guys wouldn't happen to know what's happened to my kitchen, would you?" Cloud stared at Yuffie and Zexion. The two culprits hadn't realized how big a mess they'd left. The shelves Yuffie had been searching through in her hunt for the chocolate sauce looked like someone had dropped bombs on them, their empty mugs and bowls were still on the countertop, and little pieces of candy was strewn on the floor. They looked at each other for a few second. Yuffie was the one to speak.

"I'm sorry, Cloud. We couldn't sleep. I suggested we raid your kitchen, and we ate most of your candy and ice cream. And we forgot to clean up this mess. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't really angry with you. It's no wonder you guys couldn't sleep, you're just worried about Tifa."

Seifer, the aspiring chef, made them all breakfast. No one said a word while they ate.

"Where's Leon?" Yuffie asked when they'd finished eating. She'd just realized her friend wasn't there.

"I let him sleep," Cloud said, "He needs it, poor thing. What little sleep he gets is full of nightmares."

-

Half an hour later Seifer had called just about everyone he could think of that might know where Tifa was. Her family, kids from school, even some of the teachers.

"No one knows where she is," he said, "The way I see it, we have two options. One, we could call the cops, or two, we could split up in two groups and go search for her."

"I guess we could called the cops to check if they know anything," Zexion said, "but I don't want them to be out looking for her."

Yuffie and Seifer both agreed with Zexion. Cloud and Leon, who was now awake, said it wasn't really their decision.

Seifer spent fifteen minutes on the phone with various people down at the police station, but no one knew anything about Tifa.

"Let's go search for her," he said after putting down the receiver, "Yuffie and Zexion, you go check her house once more, and I'll go with Leon and Cloud and check the park, and cafés and stuff."

"You're not coming with us?" Zexion asked.

"You two know which places she's likely to be at better than Leon and Cloud do. It's best that I go with them, or they'll just be walking about at random."

-

Yuffie and Zexion were banging on Tifa's front door as hard as they could. No one opened. They walked around to the other side of her house and started throwing stones at her bedroom window. The window remained closed.

"Hey, what's that?" Zexion said, pointing to an open window on the second floor.

"An open window. That must mean someone's home, right?"

"I don't know. I guess we could try to get in somehow. Maybe she has a spare key under the doormat or something."

There was no key under the doormat, however there was one in a flowerpot by the door. They unlocked the door, hesitating slightly before opening it and walking into the house. Tifa's shoes and jacket were in the entrance.

"Either she left the house without shoes and jacket, or she's home," Yuffie's voice was shaking slightly.

They searched the first floor, which basically meant the kitchen and living room. No sign of Tifa. As they walked up the stares they unconsciously reach for each other's hands. Both were scared of what state Tifa would be in, if she was even there. The bathroom was empty, so was the little room that Tifa called her study. The only room left was the bedroom. Yuffie squeezed Zexion's hand as she slowly opened the door.

The sight that met them was horrible. Empty pill-bottles were scattered on the floor, some pills were lying between the bottles. Maybe a pill or three for every bottle. A small knife, covered in blood was lying on the carpet next to Tifa's bed. Tifa herself was lying on her bed, her arm was dangling over the edge, and her wrist was bleeding. Yuffie's eyes moved from the pills to the knife to Tifa's wrist to the lifeless body on the bed and back to the pills. The scene swam before her eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, but not a sound escaped her throat. With shaking hands she found her cell phone in her pocket and dialed Leon's number.

"Leon, come quick. We're at Tifa's house. Please, just hurry."

-

A few minutes later Leon arrived with Cloud and Seifer. When he saw Tifa and the mess in her room, Seifer made a strange noise before running out of the room. He sat down just outside the door and started to cry. Leon immediately turned to Yuffie to see if his best friend needed comfort. She was sitting next to Zexion to paralyzed to say a word, much less cry. The boy next to her was weeping silently.

Cloud, however, was over by the bed in two strides. He touched Tifa's neck, checking if she had a pulse.

"Somebody call an ambulance! She has a pulse, but it's weak. Her breathing's even weaker."

-

Nurses in white uniforms, and doctors with stethoscopes around their necks walked by, but no one stopped to tell them anything about Tifa's condition. Yuffie tried to stop one of them, but he just shrugged and walked on.

After almost an hour a nurse came up them, just to tell them that Tifa's condition was unstable, and it was uncertain whether she would survive. An hour passed, once again Yuffie tried to stop one of the doctors, but she was no luckier than the first time. More hours passed. Cloud fell asleep with his head on Leon's shoulder. Seifer was drinking his seventh cup of coffee. Zexion and Yuffie were taking turns crying at the other's shoulder. After a while they, too, fell asleep. Zexion with his head against the wall, his neck bent in an odd angle, Yuffie curled up on two seats with her head in the boy's lap.

-

They didn't get any news until the next morning. At seven o'clock, Leon was the only one still awake. A nurse with brown hair, and kind green eyes told him that Tifa was unconscious, but stable, and should be awake in a few hours. She would not need any surgery. Leon decided to let the others sleep a little more. Tifa wouldn't wake for a few hours, there was no need to tell his friends the news right at that moment.

The first to wake up was Yuffie. She walked over to Leon and sat down on the floor by his feet. He grabbed her around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.

"No need to sit down there. You'll just mess up your neck looking up at me."

Yuffie rested her head against her friend's chest. "Any news?"

"Yeah, actually there are," Leon said, "Tifa's still unconscious, but she's stable. The doctors reckon she'll be awake in a few hours."

Yuffie sighed in relief and asked if Leon wanted some coffee. A few minutes later she came back with one cup of espresso, for Leon, and one cup of mocha, for herself.

"Now that we know Tifa will be okay, I want you to tell me about your nightmares," she said.

"Not much to say really," Leon started, "it's the same as always. I reach her just before she jumps, but I can't touch her, and she doesn't here me shouting at her. Then she jumps and floats away."

"It wasn't your fault, Leon. You know that, right?"

"I guess. But I can't help feel I should have done something to help her. I knew she was unhappy, why didn't I do something about it?"

"You tried. That's all that matters. You couldn't have done more. You tried every possible way to help her. Like you said, she was unhappy. There was nothing you could do to help her. Aerith had made up her mind a long time before you even realized anything was wrong."

"What makes you such an expert?" Leon asked, he sounded annoyed. Then he remembered Yuffie's own suicide attempt a few years ago. "I'm sorry, Yuffie, I didn't mean anything by it. I shouldn't have said that."

Yuffie looked at him with big, sad eyes, but she didn't say anything. She didn't have to. He knew he'd hurt her feelings, but he also knew that she understood that he hadn't meant to, and she wouldn't be angry with him for long.

-

The next person to wake up was Zexion. At first he seemed a bit surprised to find himself in a hospital. After looking around for a few second, he turned to Yuffie. "Any news?"

"She's unconscious, but stable. The docs say she'll probably be awake in a few hours."

"That's wonderful. Should we wake Seifer and Cloud?"

"Let Seifer sleep," Leon said, "he was awake until about two hours ago. Cloud has been sleeping like a baby the entire night, so I don't really think he needs any more sleep, but let him sleep, too. He's so cute like that." He nodded towards Cloud who was lying curled up in a ball on the seat next to Leon's, sucking his thumb with a peaceful expression on his face.

The two sleeping blondes came around within half an hour. The group was drinking coffee and chatting about everyday things to make the time pass, when a doctor came up to them.

"She's awake now. You can see her, but only three at a time," he said.

Leon and Cloud looked at the others. "You guys go," they said simultaneously.

-

Yuffie was so happy to see Tifa that she could hardly say a word. She ran over to the hospital bed and grabbed Tifa's hand, clenching in tightly. She kissed her girlfriend lightly on the lips and sat down in a chair next to the bed. Seifer and Zexion sat down across from her. Seifer was holding the hand that was not being crushed by Yuffie, and Zexion was stroking her hair.

Tifa looked at her friends and her sweetheart. She had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling.

"I love you, Tifa. Don't you ever do something like that to me ever again," Yuffie said.

"I love you, too," Tifa's voice was weak, but the look she sent Yuffie said more than every word in the dictionary.

Seifer got up to go talk to a doctor. When he came back he had a serious look on his face.

"Tifa, that doctor said they've examined you and discovered that you've been sexually assaulted. When, how, who?"

"What?" Yuffie shouted, "Sexually assaulted? Who did this to you? I'm gonna kill the fucker!"

Tifa avoided meeting anyone's eyes. She spoke in a low whisper.

"Larxene…"

"That… that… that bitch! I'm going to fucking kill her! How could she do something like that to you? When did this happen, Tifa?"

"Sunday morning… I was on my way to you, when I met her. She started talking about how much I missed me and told me that she wanted me back. I told her I had a new girlfriend. I told her she and I were finished. Then I tried to walk away, but she grabbed and pushed me up against this wall and started kissing me. She was too strong… I tried to get away, but I was weaker than her… She was too strong… At first she just kissed me, but then she started pulling at my clothes. She just ripped them off, half of them are completely ruined. I was standing there in the snow wearing only a t-shirt and underpants, and then she…" Tifa's words trailed away. She started crying, and Yuffie pulled her into a hug.

"Shh… It's okay… Everything's okay now. We're here for you. It's okay," Yuffie kept on whispering comforting words into her girlfriend's ear until Tifa fell asleep in her arms.

**--------**

**Actually, the reason for Tifa's suicide attempt was supposed to be something completely different, but then this idea just popped into my head. You'll get the details on what Tifa did between the rape and the suicide attempt and details about the suicide attempt itself in the next chapter. It's really late now (05.08 am) and I've been writing since around 07.00 pm yesterday, and I need to proofread this before I go to sleep. Therefore this will be a short author note.**

**By the way, the nurse with brown hair and kind green eyes was s'posed to be Olette, but it doesn't have anything to do with the story.**

**The title is from a song by Simon & Garfunkel. **

**Please, please, please review!!!**


	10. Chapter 10: The irony of it all

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow **

**Chapter 10: The irony of it all**

Tifa woke up and found herself alone in a strange bed in a strange room. When she noticed the tubes connected to her arm, the machines by her bad and the clean white walls, she understood that she was in a hospital. Was she sick? All she could remember was that she'd fallen asleep in Yuffie's arms the night before. Had she been in hospital yesterday? Slowly the memories of the last few days came back to her.

Her alarm clock had rung at 06.00 am Sunday morning, like it did every morning. She walked over to the window, like she did every morning. The beauty of the snowy scenery outside made her heart skip a beat or two. She ran down the stairs, grabbed her jacket, scarf and mittens and stepped into her shoes. She spent almost an hour playing in the snow, before going inside to make herself some breakfast. After eating she checked her watch and was disappointed to discover that it was still far too early to call Yuffie. She made some hot chocolate, and watched the snow falling outside the window. After a while she checked her watch again. 09.00 am. It was still too early to call her girlfriend. However, the walk to Vincent and Yuffie's apartment was almost twenty minutes, and she figured she could always walked slowly, and if she made a detour to the park, too, she wouldn't be there until it was almost ten o'clock, and by then, even Yuffie should be awake. Well, maybe not awake, but at least it would be late enough that she wouldn't hate Tifa for waking her up too early.

After spending about fifteen minutes in the park, she started walking in the direction of the apartment where her girlfriend was probably fast asleep. She'd been walking for about a minute when she spotted Larxene. The girl was about 50 yards away, and walking in her direction with long strides, looking furious for some reason. _Maybe the redhead's ditched her,_ Tifa thought happily when she noticed the blonde's expression. Normally, the sight of her ex would have terrified her, but the snow and the thought of seeing Yuffie made her feel strong. Invincible, even.

Her plan was to walk right past Larxene without talking to her, but the girl blocked the way for her.

"Hi honey," she started.

"Don't call me 'honey'!" Tifa cut her off angrily.

"Oh, come on. You know you still love me. We should be together. We're perfect for each other. Can't you see that?"

"No, Larxene, I can't see that. You and I are finished. We're over. History. Gone. There is no 'us' anymore. There is you, alone, and there is me, alone. Or rather, there is you, alone, and there is me and my new girlfriend. 'Us' no longer means you and me, it means me and Yuffie."

Larxene stared at her, apparently too shocked to say anything. Tifa eyed her coolly.

"I have to go. I wish I could say it's been nice meeting you, but it really hasn't. You're not a part of my life anymore, Larxene, and I'm not a part of yours."

She started walking away, but a strong hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She felt Larxene's free hand slap her face and then she was pushed up against a wall. The blonde was kissing her violently, while ripping away her clothes. Tifa tried to fight, but the other girl was stronger. She tried to scream, but Larxene silenced her with another kiss. Her head was being banged against the wall repeatedly and her wrist was starting to hurt because it was clutched so hard in Larxene's fist.

Soon she was standing there in just her t-shirt and underpants. A hand found it's way under the black fabric off her tee, and groped her breasts greedily. Tifa's arms were forced behind her head, and Larxene moved her now free hand down to the black-haired girl's underpants. Tifa screamed and kicked, but Larxene's lips silenced her and two quick kicks in her knees made her legs too weak to keep up the fighting.

"There's nothing you can do, honey," Larxene said in a threatening voice, "I'm stronger than you, and you know it. Fighting will only make you suffer more."

She didn't know how much time had passed. She was lying on the snow-covered ground. Her t-shirt was torn. Her breasts were covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. She felt a throbbing pain between her legs. Her lips were swollen. Her right cheek was smeared with blood from a wound caused by a long fingernail. Her knees were aching so much she could hardly stand. A large bump was growing at the back of her head where it had been slammed into the wall. Her left cheek was red from being slapped.

Slowly she got to her feet, pulling on her pants and jacket, leaving the rest of her garments behind. They were all in tatters, anyway.

-

The rest of the day was blank. She knew she must have made it home, somehow, but there was no clear memories. Most of Monday was blank, too, but she suspected she'd spent most of it asleep. The next thing she remembered clearly was finding the pills and the knife. It had been late on Monday or early on Tuesday. Sometime during that night. She had no idea whether it had happened before or after midnight, though.

The first thing she'd done was empty the medicine cabinet of aspirin, acetaminophen and ibuprofen. Then she'd found some Ritalin. When she was a kid, she'd been diagnosed with ADD, and put on medications. She'd stopped taking the pills a few years earlier, but for some reason she hadn't thrown them away.

She went to her room and dumped the assortment of pills on the bed. Then she started rummaging through shelves and drawers, searching for the Prozac she knew was there somewhere. Her mother had been popping antidepressants for years, until she was using them more because she was addicted than because she was depressed. When Tifa left, she'd stolen all of her mother's pills. She knew the stupid woman wouldn't get a new prescription for at least a month. She hadn't taken the pills because she thought her mother would be cured by a month without her precious Prozac. She took them to punish the woman for loving her medication more than her only daughter.

After several minutes she found the pills in a drawer full of socks and scarves. She had no idea how they had ended up there, neither did she know why the socks and the scarves were in the same drawer.

After searching through the house once more to see if there were any drugs she'd overlooked she went back to her room. She reached a hand under the mattress and found the small knife she always kept hidden there. She caressed the blade fondly. Putting the knife down on the bed next to the pile of medications.

For a while she considered writing a note, but she decided against it. She looked at the pills and the knife. Would she really need both?

She grabbed a random bottle, swallowed most of it's content, and threw it on the floor. Then she emptied another bottle, and another, and another. Within half a minute all the bottles were on the floor, more or less empty. She was feeling drowsy, and her head was spinning. She reached for her knife. It felt heavy in her hand, despite its size.

The last thing she remembered was the feeling of cold metal against her skin.

-

"So apart from some clothes, a couple of books, large amounts of candy and flowers for Tifa, is there anything else you guys want us to pick up for you?"

Yuffie, Seifer and Zexion were refusing to leave that hospital, so Cloud and Leon had offered to fetch a few things they would need.

"Yes," Yuffie said, "there is. I want my music. I guess bringing the stereo would be a bit over the top, but could you get my little CD-player? I think it's under the couch. My CDs are in a bag next to the stereo. I want every The Cure-album you can find, and some of the old Depeche Mode stuff, and… You know what? Just bring the whole bag."

Leon laughed at his best friend. "Small CD-player, big bag of CDs. Anything else?"

"Cigarettes," Zexion said.

"I thought you said you were giving up smoking?" Seifer asked.

"Did I say that? Maybe I should try. But not today, get me a pack of smokes, okay?"

"Sure we'll get it. By the way, Yuffie, shouldn't you give Vincent a call? He has no idea where you are, you know."

"Oh, shit!"

-

Yuffie was pacing back and forth outside the hospital. It was freezing cold and she hadn't brought her jacket. She muttered a few curses under her breath. Why did they have that stupid no-cell-phones-in-hospitals-rule?

After what seemed an eternity, Vincent finally picked up the phone.

"Hi. It's Vincent."

"Hi. It's me. Tifa's in hospital and I'm not planning on leaving her anytime soon."

"Right. Why is she in hospital?"

"Popped a million pills and slit her wrist. Suicide attempt. And before that she was raped. By her ex."

"Is she gonna be all right?"

"The doctors says they can't be completely sure quite yet, but they reckon she has pretty good chances."

"How about you? Are you gonna be all right? You sure you don't need your big bro'?"

"I'll be fine. Seifer and Zexion are here with me. By the way, Cloud and Leon are dropping by soon to pick up some stuff for me."

"Okay. You give me a call if you need anything, right?"

"Course."

**------------**

**Blah, I feel like this story ain't going nowhere (no, I've not started talking and writing very slangy all of a sudden, I just find it amusing to write like that once in a while). Nothing happened in chapter 8, the only thing that happened in chapter 9 was that they found Tifa, nothing happened in this chapter. It's all just bunch of dialogues and memories. I feel like I now have a choice. I can introduce a few new characters, maybe kill off one of the ones I already have here, and make new problems, and then this story would go on and on and on. Or I can tie all the loose ends together, kill Larxene, and end this in two or three chapters. Everyone would live happily ever after.**

**But I sorta want a bit more love. Love as in good ol' lovin'. But I don't want that while Tifa's in hospital, so if there's going to be love, I have to get her out of there. And that would take a little while. I'm planning on letting her out a week before x-mas or something (right now, it's the end of November in the story, so that means I need something to fill almost a month with). I guess I could always introduce Cloud's sibling (I don't know how many times I've said this, but I need suggestions). **

**Maybe I should just throw in a bunch of new characters. But who? I'm trying to keep Axel, Roxas, Sora and Riku out of this story. I guess I could put Demyx or Hayner in there somewhere. Only one of them, though. I don't want too many happy couples. **

**I just remembered, Roxas and Sora _are_ mentioned in this story. In chapter 4 I've written that they're Yuffie's cousins. But they're young. Too young for love. So that means no AkuRoku, and I don't do Sora/Riku. That's Silli's job. **

**How about some more FF characters? Reno, maybe? Or Rikku? Or maybe Selphie, then she and Tidus can hook up, and Tidus can find other things to do with his spare time than dissing Yuffie's taste in music (Tidus/Selphie is one of the very few straight pairings I like. I think _funny_ Yuffentine stories are okay, but I do not accept Yuffentine if it's not humor. I can live with Yuffie/Reno, too, though you won't find me actually supporting it. I kind of like Larxene/Marluxia, though I do consider them a lesbian couple. I mean, Marly has pink hair, a girly name and flowers (muhaha). Can't really think of any other straight pairings I like/accept. I have very strong opinions on a few of the girls from KH and FF, especially Rinoa, Kairi and Aerith. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Rinoa! When Silli and I take over the world and buy Square Enix we'll destroy her completely. She'll simply be eliminated. Every trace of her will be deleted. I don't really hate Kairi, I just dislike her. Silli and I will change the first mission in KH I to "push Kairi off a cliff". As for Aerith, I basically think she's a nuisance. She is completely unnecessary, and she has a boring outfit in KH I, and an ugly one in KH II. Some of the other girls I don't like are Paine (she just gets on my nerves. I think it's the way she looks), Naminé (I like her in fanfics, if she's with Olette, but I don't like her in the game), that blond chick from FF VIII, can't remember her name, Lulu (I think it's the looks with her, too) and several others that I can't remember the names of. Now you probably think that I hate almost all of the girls, but you're wrong. I think many of them are great. I like Tifa a lot, I'm _obsessed_ with Yuffie (I did a "which KH character are you"-test, and I got Yuffie. I was annoying the hell out of Silli with my hysterical squealing for days afterwards), I think Larxene is quite cool, I like Fujin (not that I "know" her that well. She has a pretty tiny role in KH II, but I think I like her), I have no problem whatsoever with Yuna, I think Rikku is awesome, and I absolutely _love_ Olette).**

**The title is, surprisingly, from a song by The Streets. I'm actually having a break from hip-hop, but I've changed that to a break from _American_ hip-hop, so that I can listen to The Streets and Side Brok (an amazing Norwegian hip-hop-group. They're funny, and they come from Volda, which is very close to Hellesylt, where my family is from. Volda and Hellesylt are in a part of Norway called "Sunnmøre", which is on the west coast. I'm very proud to be 25 sunnmøring. A "sunnmøring" is a person from Sunnmøre, by the way, if you didn't understand that).**

**I _need_ reviews! I need opinions on what to do with the story. I'm freaking stuck. I'm not getting anywhere. I need help. Reviewers get little cocktails of antidepressants, stolen form Tifa's mom. **


	11. Chapter 11: Across the universe

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 11: Across the universe**

Cloud and Leon had delivered Yuffie, Zexion and Seifer's things, and, after hearing that Tifa's condition was improving. The doctors were now completely sure she would survive. They had also said that the only permanent injury the suicide attempt had done was to her wrist. Her left hand and lower arm would be a little difficult to use for the rest of her life. The overdose, however, had not done any lasting damage.

Leon had been worried about leaving Yuffie, be she had assured him that she would be fine. Well, assured might not be the right word. What she said was: "I'm not listening to your bullshit anymore. I'll be _fine_. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I know you'd much rather be at home screwing Cloud's brains out, so just go! You two need some bloody quality-time. Go fuck your boyfriend!"

Cloud had been a bit disappointed when Leon had not obeyed Yuffie's order the instant they walked in the door. Instead, the brunet had decided they needed some food. He was now in the kitchen and by the sound of his swearing he was making pasta. Leon loved pasta, he just wasn't very good at preparing it.

"You need some help?" Cloud called in the direction of the kitchen

"Nah, I'm fine," Leon answered, "You just watch TV or something. Wait, you don't ever use that big box with a screen that takes up too much space in your living room? Do you even know how it works? Read a book."

Cloud didn't bother to answer, he made himself comfortable on the couch, and opened a book. However, he hadn't read more than half a page or so when the doorbell rang.

Cloud looked at the boy standing at his doorstep. He had a blond mohawk, holey jeans, a green sweater and black Converse. He was carrying a brown bag and what seemed to be an oddly shaped guitar.

"Hi. Are you Cloud?" the boy said, looking down.

"Yeah, that's me. Who are you?"

The strange boy met his eyes for the first time. "I'm Demyx. I'm your brother."

"My what?"

"Your brother. Same daddy, different mommies."

"You're my brother? I… I don't know what to say. I mean, I knew that my dad had another kid somewhere, but you just showing up like this… Come on in, I think we need to talk a bit."

"Who's that," Leon asked when he saw Demyx.

"He says he's my brother," Cloud replied, "I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth. He's the right age, and he looks almost exactly like my old man."

"You _are_ kidding, right?"

"No."

-

Demyx sat down on Cloud's couch. His face seemed calm, but his right leg was twitching a little, and he was constantly fidgeting the strap of his bag.

"Can I get you anything? Cocoa? Coffee?" Cloud raised his eyebrows at the person who claimed to be his brother.

"Uhm…" the boy looked at him, he seemed a bit unsure. As if he did want something, but thought it might be rude to ask for something, "I don't really need anything. No reason to make any fuss because of me."

"It's no fuss, but if you don't want anything…"

"But anyway, as you said, we need to talk. I didn't know about you until a few weeks ago when my ma died. I've been trying to find you for a few days. How much did you know about me?"

"Apart from the fact that you existed, nothing."

"Oh. Well, I guess I knew even less. I always thought I was an only child, and then, just an hour before ma died, she said there was something she'd never told me. And then she told me all about how her husband hadn't been my real pa, and that I had a younger brother and everything. She seemed to know quite a bit about you."

"She did? But I've always been told she didn't want any contact with my dad after she found out he was married."

"Who told you that?"

"My parents. They were really open about it and everything, but they said they didn't really know much about you. I didn't even know if I had a brother or a sister. My dad didn't know."

"Oh, he knew. He might not have told you and your mom, but he and ma wrote letters and met from time to time until he died. She said they broke of the relationship, but remained friends. I found lots of letters he'd written her, and he'd sent her photos of you and everything. I think she sent him photos of me, too."

"What? This can't be true! You're lying. Or maybe you're just crazy. Or maybe your mom was lying. They didn't have any contact! He would have told me!"

Demyx didn't say anything, he just watched Cloud, waiting for the boy to calm down.

"Seriously, he would have told me," Cloud said more calmly, "I was always going on about how I wanted a brother or sister and he would tell me that I had a sibling, but he didn't know where that person lived or if it was a girl or a boy or what his or her name was. Why would he tell me that if he knew so much about you?"

"I don't know."

The two stared at each other for a few seconds. Cloud discovered that even though Demyx had said nothing that proved that he really was his brother, he was sure that the boy was telling the truth.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen. I'll be nineteen in two months and ten days."

Cloud thought for a few seconds.

"Exactly fourteen months older than me. I think you're telling the truth."

"I am. I can prove it, too."

Demyx rummaged in his bag for a little while, clearly looking for something, and obviously not finding it. He mumbled irritated under his breath, something about knowing it was there somewhere.

"Hah! I found it!" He held a photograph in his hand. He gave it to Cloud.

"Read what it says on the back," he said.

Cloud turned the photo, and read the words on the back.

_I thought I'd send you this picture of Cloud. I know you don't want Demyx to know that he has a brother, but maybe someday you change you mind. If you do, wouldn't it be nice to have some picture that you can show him and say "this is you brother"? I really wish they could meet, Cloud has always wanted a brother or a sister, and I wish I could tell him about Demyx, but all I say is that he has a sibling, but I don't know anything about him/her. I hope I can meet my son one day, but I respect the fact that you don't him to know that your husband is not his real father._

Cloud started at the paper in his hand with a shocked expression on his face.

"This is dad's handwriting," he said, "you really are my brother."

He stared Demyx for a few seconds, then he did something very unexpected. He walked over to the couch and gave his brother a hug.

"Sorry," Cloud said, "it's just, I've always wanted a sibling, and I've wanted to meet you since the first time they told me that you existed, but I never thought I'd see you."

"I guess that means we'll keep in touch, then," Demyx said with a smile, "I've gotta go now, but how 'bout I give you my number and you can give me a call someday if you want to."

-

"You have to report her, Tifa," Zexion said. He, Yuffie and Seifer were seated around Tifa's hospital bed. Said black-haired girl had been talking about Larxene, and crying a lot. After a few feeble protests, she had allowed the three to call Larxene "an abusive bitch". Zexion was now busy trying to convince Tifa to report "the abusive bitch", while Yuffie was stroking her hair. Seifer seemed to be lost in thought. Now and then he got up to go speak to a nurse or doctor.

"I can't report her. What if they just let her go? What would she do to me? She'd want revenge, you know."

"They're not gonna let her go, and even if the do, she'd at least get a restraining order or something."

"You don't know that. They might just let her go with a warning or something, and trust me, a warning will not scare Larxene. I don't think a restraining order would scare her either. If I report her, nothing short of locking her up will keep her from punishing me in some way."

Yuffie had been listening to their conversation for a while without saying anything, but now she cut in: "I don't care about what scares her or not. I won't let her hurt you. If I have to walk you from doorstep to doorstep to keep her away from you, I will. If I have to break her legs so she can't walk, I will. Whatever it takes to keep you safe, I'll do it."

Tifa looked at her girlfriend and smiled, but her eyes were as determined as ever. She was not reporting Larxene. No way.

-

"How do you even know he's telling the truth?" Leon yelled. Demyx had just left, and Leon was having a hard time understanding how Cloud could trust the guy, "some random kid knocks on your door and says he's your brother and you just believe him? You don't have any proof!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Cloud yelled back, "I'm not stupid! Of course I have proof!"

"Oh yeah? So you have proof, have you?"

"Yes, actually I have," Cloud waved the photo of Demyx in Leon's face, "read what it says on the back."

Leon read it several times, but he didn't look convinced. "How do you know he hasn't faked it?"

"I recognize my own father's handwriting. Plus, why on earth would he want to fake it?"

"I don't know, maybe he's some wacko stalker or something?"

"Now you're just being stupid. I'll be in my room when you're able to think straight."

-

Leon sat at the kitchen table and grumbled to himself. He knew he was being an idiot. Of course the guy wasn't some wacko stalker, of course Cloud recognized his father's handwriting. He stared at the photo of the seven year old Cloud. He was laughing. He looked so happy, so unlike the gloomy bookworm Leon had fallen in love with. The boy on the photo resembled Demyx more than it resembled Cloud, really.

-

"Cloud?"

The blonde boy looked at his boyfriend at the door.

"You figured out how stupid you were?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I should've known that you wouldn't believe him without proof," Leon looked away, seemingly unsure whether to say what was on his mind or not, "I looked at that photo. You looked so different. So carefree. When did that side of you disappear?"

"I don't know. I vanished gradually, and I didn't notice before it was gone completely."

The pained expression on his boyfriends face made Leon's heart ache. He walked over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He could see that something was wrong. Those beautiful blue eyes were like pools of sadness. What was it the made his precious Cloud so sad? Why wouldn't he talk about it? He pulled the blonde into a hug.

"How about we obey Yuffie's orders?" Cloud said in a seductive voice.

**---------**

**OMG I can't believe how evil I am!!! I just cheated you of a lemon!!! Don't worry, though, there will be lemons in checks chapter plan discovers it's ages until the first lemon alters chapter plan chapter 13, 15, 16, and 18… :)**

**I don't know if I like this chapter or not. I feel like the things happening are so unrealistic. Like the characters react in weird ways. I don't know. I feel like they're too "distant".**

**Sorry for the delay, I'm trying to get some sleep now and then, and I have tons of homework, so I don't get that much time to write. Plus I've been a bit stuck. But I'm not stuck anymore. I can't wait to write the next chapter (which will make Silli very happy. I know I shouldn't spoil the surprise, but the good news is Demyx and Zexion meet in the next chapter :) Woot)**

**Title from a song by Rufus Wainwright. Don't really know what it has to do with anything, but I think it fits, somehow. Don't ask me why.**

**Please, please, please, please review!!! Reviewers get candy and/or cakes.**


	12. Chapter 12: It makes no difference

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 12: It makes no difference**

Tifa stared at the blond man with the notebook and the concerned eyes. He didn't look much like a therapist. He looked more like someone who would be likely to sit in her chair. Except for those eyes. They had that concerned, yet wise, look that she couldn't quite describe.

"Hi Tifa. I'm Cid. I am, as I'm sure ya know, a therapist. I'm here to help ya, okay?"

Tifa didn't reply, she just looked at the therapist, Cid. She had been so surprised when she heard him speak that she almost laughed.

"Not very talkative, eh? Why don't ya tell me a little about yourself?" Cid raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want to know?" Tifa said, "I guess you're not very interested in the story of my life. We're here to talk about Larxene aren't we?"

"Straight to the point, eh? We're here to talk about Larxene, but first why don't ya tell me a little about your childhood? Yer family 'n stuff."

"You don't wanna know. It's the classic story of the parents who weren't there. Mom owned a beauty salon, dad had some important job at some office. Mom spent her spare time painting her toenails or dying her hair. And popping pills. Dad didn't have any spare time. Have two brothers. Both of them are older than me. One of them moved out when I was five, other one moved out a year before me. I haven't had any contact with my parents since I left home. Not with my brother either. But what has that got to do with anything? That's all in the past."

"Ya said yer mom was popping pills? What kinda pills?"

"Anti-depressants. I think she had bipolar disorder or something. Or maybe she was just addicted to the meds. Or both. Do we need to talk about mom? My family is out of my life. I don't really want to think about them at all."

"I that's what ya want, then we don't need to talk about them anymore. How 'bout you tell me about your relationship with Larxene?"

Tifa was silent for about a minute. When she started to speak the words were slurred, and the sentences incomplete. She was battling with herself. Deep down inside she knew Larxene had mistreated her badly, but there was still a part of her that wanted to protect the girl. Cid listened to her story without interrupting.

"I understand if this is a bit hard for ya to be talking about. I won't force ya, but I was wondering if ya would tell me about yer suicide attempt, too?"

"I… I… I'll try. I don't really know why I did it. I don't really remember how, either. I remember searching the house for drugs. Aspirin, ibuprofen, that kind of stuff. And then I find some Ritalin. I have ADD, but I stopped taking the meds a few years ago. Never threw them away, though. Then I found my mom's anti-depressants. I stole them when I moved out. To punish her, I guess. She loved her drugs more than her daughter. Then I found my knife, and all I remember after that is swallowing what seemed like millions of pills, and the knife against my wrist. Don't remember any pain, though. After that it's black until I wake up in hospital. I remember today and yesterday and parts of the day before that, but the first day after I woke up is completely blank apart from something about Yuffie hugging me."

Cid made her talk about Yuffie for a while. Then she had to talk about Seifer and Zexion and what she felt about seeing a therapist and the snow and a little more about her family.

"I don't see where we're going with this?" Tifa said after answering thirteen questions about her youngest brother.

"Obviously Larxene ain't yer only problem. My job is to help ya, and to do that I'm gonna have to find out where yer troubles began, and I don't think Larxene started them. I think yer parents did. But our time's up now. I'll see ya tomorrow. Before ya go I just have to tell ya that I agree with yer friends, ya should report that girl. Both for abuse and for sexual assault. Just think about it, will ya?"

-

Zexion was tapping his foot impatiently. He was standing at the grocery store. More precisely, he was standing in the longest line of the century. He hadn't left the hospital for days, and neither had Yuffie or Seifer. Eventually, Tifa had ordered them to leave at least for a few hours. Yuffie had promised she would go snowboarding with Vincent the next day, Seifer had left to take care or something or other. He didn't want to tell anyone what he was up to, which made the rest of them very, very suspicious. Zexion himself had decided both he and Tifa needed candy and cigarettes, and had reluctantly left the hospital to go shopping.

Suddenly he felt something hit him in the back. He turned around to see a blond boy lying on the floor in a big pile of groceries. The boy looked at him and blushed.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I kind of… um… I tripped. Really sorry," the boy started picking up tomatoes, bread and milk. Zexion stared at him for a few moments. There was something about that boy. About his eyes, or the way he talked or something else. He was special, somehow. After a few seconds he realized what he was doing, and quickly bent down to help the unlucky guy.

"We all trip sometimes, eh?" he said with a smile, "nothing to worry about. I'm Zexion, by the way."

"I'm Demyx."

They didn't say anything else before Zexion had reached the counter and paid for the candy and cigarettes.

"Not a very healthy lifestyle?" Demyx commented with a smirk.

"I know," Zexion laughed, "the candy is for my friend who's in hospital and the smokes… Well, you get addicted to them."

Demyx laughed. "I guess I'll see you around," he said and waved goodbye to the purple-haired boy.

-

"Get out of my fucking way or I'll smash your goddamned nose!" Yuffie yelled at the blond girl in front of her. Yuffie had never seen her before, but suddenly the stranger had taken one step to the side so that she block the way, and refused to move. She hadn't said a word, just stood there and looked angry.

"I mean it," Yuffie said, "you don't move right now, and I'll break you're fucking nose. And I won't mind knocking out a few of your teeth while I'm at it."

The girl continued to stare for a few seconds. Suddenly, with no warning at all, she punched Yuffie in the guts. The black-haired girl was so shocked she needed a few seconds to realize what had happened. However, half a minute later the blonde was lying on the ground with a bleeding nose and a swollen lip. Yuffie walked away without even trying to find out why the girl had tried to block her way.

She walked for about five minutes before the second interruption that day. Tidus.

"What do you want?" Yuffie demanded. "I don't think you have any bones that I haven't already broken."

The threat seemed to scare the boy. After looking bewildered for a second or so, he walked on without as much as a rude comment. Yuffie resisted the temptation of sticking out her leg as he walked by.

**-------**

**That was a quite short chapter. And for once, the author note will be short too…**

**Title from a song by The Band. **

**And y'all know I want you to review, right? So go on, review. What are you waiting for? I'll give you some candy and cigarettes stolen from everyone's favorite little emo-kid!**


	13. Chapter 13: Don't give up

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow **

**Chapter 13: Don't give up**

"Guys, listen to me!" Tifa glared at her girlfriend and her two best friends. "Go home! I won't die if you guys spend one night in your own beds instead of sleeping on a couch in the waiting room. I can't believe the people here actually let you stay here, anyway. I've never heard of anyone sleeping over at a hospital if they're not sick."

"But I don't want to leave you," Yuffie protested.

"You're gonna have to. You really can't stay here all the time. It's not healthy, physically or psychologically."

"I think we better just obey," Seifer said with a sigh. "We'll be back tomorrow. Really, really early in the morning."

-

"Guess who's home!" Yuffie called as she opened the door to Vincent's apartment. She almost tripped over half a dozen boxes. She studied them closer and discovered that they were filled with her things.

"Hi, sis," Vincent made a half successful attempt at a welcoming smile. "I picked up you're stuff from mom and dad's."

"You did? Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! Now I don't have to go there myself and actually talk to them."

"I really deserve that gratitude, you know. They weren't exactly happy to see me. Actually, mom slammed the door in my face. Dad helped me out, though. First time I've ever seen him disagree with mom. He helped me pack your stuff, but he made it absolutely clear that when we were finished he never wanted to see me ever again. Anyway, why aren't you with Tifa?"

"She forced us to leave. Said she wouldn't die if we stayed home for one night."

-

When Cloud walked into the door of the coffee shop, he noticed right away that something wasn't right. Normally the atmosphere was so cheerful it almost annoyed him, but now the place seemed gloomy.

He eyed the girl behind the counter worriedly. Last time he was there she'd been dancing and singing along with the music streaming from the speakers. Her braids had been flying around her head as she ran, or danced or pirouetted to fetch whatever the customers wanted. She greeted every single one of them with a smile, and she always had something to talk about when a regular dropped by.

Today, however, her smile was gone. She dragged her feet when she moved, she had about half as many braids as usual, and there were no beads in her hair. Instead of her usual miniskirt she was wearing a pair of baggy pants, and an ordinary black t-shirt had replaced her regular bikini-like top.

"Hi Cloud," she said sadly. "What can I get you? Let me guess. Coffee? Strong enough to make any normal person choke?"

"Yep. And give me a few cookies, too," Cloud frowned and stared at her.

"What?" she said defensively.

"What's wrong? What happened to the dancing and singing girl? The hyperactive one? The one I only tolerated because… because… um, because you're you. You're not you today."

"Long story. Nothing you need to worry about. I can handle it. Anyway, you probably just want to drink your coffee and read your book, not listen to my stupid problems."

"Believe it or not, but I'm pretty good at listening. Long story, huh? When does your shift end?"

She checked her watch. "Half an hour."

"I'll wait," Cloud said.

She smiled weakly and handed him the coffee and cookies.

-

"We keep running into each other, don't we?" Demyx smiled at Zexion. They had literally run into each other outside a small café. Demyx got up and offered his hand to Zexion. The purple haired boy got to his feet and almost fell again as he slipped on the icy sidewalk. He had to grab the blonde with both hands to keep his balance.

"Seems like it," he said smiling. "Since fate has already decided we belong together, want a cup of hot chocolate?" he nodded towards the café.

"Sure," Demyx said and followed Zexion inside.

The two boys seemed to find a connection right away. They chatted and laughed, and after fifteen minutes they felt like they'd known each other their entire lives.

"Oh, by the way," Demyx said suddenly. "Are you into guys? Gotta know before I start flirting with you, right?"

Instead of answering Zexion leaned across the table and gave him a kiss. The blonde kissed him back, bringing more passion into the kiss. Only then did they notice all the stares from the other customers.

"Um, maybe we should continue this somewhere else?" Demyx suggested with an embarrassed grin. He grabbed Zexion's hand and pulled him out of the café.

The boys were giggling all the way to Demyx' apartment. Zexion wasn't sure whether Seifer was home or not, so he'd suggested they stay away from his place, just in case.

-

"You sure this isn't going to fast or anything?" Demyx asked. He and Zexion had walked in the door less then five minutes earlier, and had already found their way to the bedroom.

"I'm up for anything," the purple-haired boy replied. "Unless you think I only want you for the sex?"

"Do you?"

"Of course not!" Zexion pretended to be offended. "I would never pass up the opportunity to have a guy I could borrow clothes from, even if I didn't get any sex."

"Oh, but you will!" With that Demyx pulled off Zexion's t-shirt. He started unzipping the boy's jeans. He was interrupted when Zexion started undressing him. It didn't take long before they were in the middle of a struggle that seemed involve a competition about who could undress the other boy first.

When all their clothes were scattered on the floor, Demyx pushed Zexion onto his back and got on top of him.

"Hey, who said you got to be on top?"

"Height rules," the blonde said with a triumphant grin.

He started nibbling at Zexion's earlobe. The purple-haired boy kissed his neck softly. The feeling of skin against skin made their heads spin. There were hands everywhere. Demyx moved from Zexion's earlobe, down to his neck. He trailed his kisses across the boy's chest. He found a nipple and started biting it softly. Zexion moaned and muttered his name. He left the nipple and brought his face level with the other boy's.

"Ready?" he asked.

Zexion nodded. Demyx held up two fingers. Zexion sucked on them for a little while. The blonde slowly moved downwards, pausing to stroke the other boy's erection before placing one of the fingers at his entrance. He pushed it inside gently. He waited until Zexion was screaming with pleasure before adding the other finger.

He removed the finger and looked questioningly at Zexion, who nodded, before placing his length at his lover's entrance. The boy screamed as Demyx pushed inside him, but it didn't take long before he was moaning loudly, and not from pain. He reached a hand between their bodies to tend to his own needs, but Demyx pushed it away.

"I'll deal with that. Soon."

Demyx yelled Zexion's name as he came inside his lover. He panted heavily for twenty seconds or so. Then he moved started kissing Zexion's stomach, slowly moving down towards his erection. He touched the tip lightly with his tongue, before taking the full length into his mouth.

"Uh… Oh… Demyx… Oh…" Zexion screamed as he reached his climax.

After making love, the boys fell asleep in each other's arms. Unconsciously, Demyx moved closer to Zexion, clinging on to him as if his life depended on the person sleeping next to him. Zexion's arms tightened their grip around his lover's waist.

"I love you," they mumbled simultaneously.

-

"Say I decide to report her, and I'm not saying I will, but what if. What do I do?" Tifa was in Cid's office again. Not that she understood why she needed therapy, but she didn't want to argue with the doctors. If they said she needed therapy, she figured it was best she just pretended to agree.

"Ya will have to talk to the police, and they'll ask ya questions. Some of them might be about things ya don't wanna talk about. But uncomfortable questions shouldn't be reason enough not to report her, eh?"

Tifa was silent for about a minute, she was frowning and biting her nails. At last, she nodded.

"Okay," she said. "I'll report her. If it'll get her out of my life, and give me the possibility to start a new one with Yuffie, I'll report her."

-

Cloud's coffee and cookies were gone, and he was reading, waiting for the girl behind the counter to finish her shift.

"You really did wait," a voice said. He looked up and saw a mass of braids and messy blond hair.

"Of course I did. Said I would, didn't I?"

The girl sat down next to him, staring at her hands. She seemed unsure what to say, but eventually she spoke up.

"I don't know if I should be talking to you. Wouldn't that be, I don't know, weird? You don't even know my name. I'm just the girl behind the counter. The normally so hyperactive and friendly, but also a bit annoying girl who takes people's orders and sings out of key," she looked at him with big, sad, green eyes. "My name's Rikku, by the way."

"Mine's Cloud, but you knew that, didn't you?"

"I know all the regulars, and you're my favorite customer, so of course I know your name."

They eyed each other nervously. No one knew what to say.

"I know I'm just a customer, and you're the girl behind the counter, but I'm worried about you," Cloud said. "When I walked in that door today, I could feel that the whole atmosphere here was different. Normally, you make this place so cheerful, but today you're sad, and this place just feels gloomy. What's wrong?"

Rikku pulled at her braids and chewed her lip. She was fighting a battle with herself. She really needed someone to talk to, but was it right to tell everything to a guy she barely knew? He seemed nice, but…

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

"Huh?" Cloud said.

"Pregnant as in I'm going to have a baby. A little creature is growing inside my tummy as we speak."

"I get that. I know what pregnancy is. But wouldn't this make you happy?"

"How old do you think I am?" Rikku asked. Cloud looked at her for a few seconds, pondering the question.

"I don't know. Eighteen? Nineteen?"

"I turned sixteen last week."

"Oh."

"You see now why being pregnant is a problem?"

Rikku give him a look that could have meant anything and got up to fetch some cookies and a cup of coffee. She asked if Cloud wanted anything, but he declined the offer.

When she got back Cloud stared at her stomach. He knew her pregnancy wasn't showing yet, after all, she'd been wearing her bikini-like top just a few days ago, but he couldn't help look for a trace that a tiny little baby was actually growing in there.

"What are you planning to do?" he asked. "Are you going to keep it or have an abortion?"

"I don't know. I'm too young to be a mother, but killing my unborn child… I don't know if I could do that. I don't want to abort, but I might have to."

"If you don't want to, then obviously you shouldn't do it. Have you considered giving it up for adoption?"

"That would be an easy decision to make now, but how will I feel about that after it's born? This… thing… is going to be a part of me for nine months, I don't know if I'll be able to give my baby away."

"I think you should keep it. There are people out there who can help, you know. Have you told your parents?"

"I'm an orphan."

"How about the baby's father? Does he know?"

"I'm not even sure who it is. That's the problem. I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, and around the same time I met this guy, Reno, I slept with him once. I'm not sure which one of the is the father, but I think it's Reno."

"This Reno-guy, he wouldn't happen to be hyperactive and clumsy, with red hair and a ponytail?"

"That's him. You know him?"

"Not really. I know someone who knows someone who knows him."

"Okay," Rikku stared at noting in particular for a little while. "So, what we're down to is: I'm keeping the baby, I have no one to help me out when it's born, not financially, not with a place to live, and I don't know for sure who the father of my baby is. So basically, I'm screwed."

"You're not screwed. What do you mean by nowhere to live? Where do you live now? You don't live on the street, do you?"

"I live with grandma, but she'll kick me out when I tell her I'm pregnant. She's always said that. She told me ever since I got my first boyfriend 'It's okay that you're dating, Rikku. I don't like it, but I can live with it. If you let one of those boys make you pregnant, however, you're on your own. I will not have a pregnant granddaughter in this house, you hear me?', that's what she'd tell me. Of course, I didn't intend to get pregnant, I'm just a bit absentminded, and so I forgot to take the pill every now and then. I didn't think it mattered that much, but apparently it did."

"You sure she'll kick you out? Maybe she just said that to scare you?"

"Believe me, my grandmother is not the kind of person to say that just to scare me. She meant it."

"That mean's we'll have to find you a place to live."

"We? You don't have to help me, you know. This is my mess. I should sort it out."

"Don't be stupid, of course I'm going to help you. I guess finding you a place to live could take a while, so how about you come live with me if your grandmother kicks you out?"

"Come live with you? I can't just do that!"

"Of course you can. I have a spare room, and I was thinking of renting it out, anyway."

"But I'm practically a stranger to you. Wouldn't you feel weird having me around your house?"

"You're not a stranger. I come to this place almost every day, and you've worked here for ages. You're more like an old friend."

He smiled at her. She stopped chewing her nails and smiled back. Maybe everything would work out okay, after all.

**-------**

**Long chapter. Woot **

**I managed to put Rikku _and_ Reno in this story!!! Yay for me :) I used to really dislike Rikku, cause I don't like her in KH, but then I found out that I actually like the FF-Rikku a lot (I haven't actually played FF, but I like her anyway). And Reno is, of course, awesome. He's cute and so hilarious. When I saw FF Advent Children, the only parts I laughed at, apart from when Yuffie yells "SEEEEEXIIIIIIST!" and the part where Rude is hit in the head by assign or whatever it was, was the parts with Reno in them. **

**I don't know if I'll be able to stick to the plan (19 chapters), or if I'll have to add a few more. It doesn't really matter, though, it'll be long no matter what. !9 chapters or 21 really don't make that big a difference. **

**The title is from a wonderful song by Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel. Go listen to it. I also recommend listening to Thomas Dybdahl and Bertine Zetlitz' version. Thomas Dybdahl is the best singer in Norway, and Bertine Zetlitz is Norway's queen of pop. **

**Please review!!! Reviewers get coffee that'll make them choke!**


	14. Chapter 14: In the winter

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 14: In the winter**

Yuffie stared absentmindedly out the window as she ate. She had promised Tifa she'd spend one day away from the hospital. Vincent had convinced her to go snowboarding.

"Do you even taste the food?" Vincent asked. He stared disapprovingly at his sister shoving her breakfast into her mouth as fast as she could.

"Of course I do," she said between two mouthfuls. "But if I finish eating really quickly we have time to drop by the hospital before we hit the slopes."

"Didn't Tifa tell you to stay away from that place for at least a day? Well, I guess we could drop by for ten minutes or so."

"Thanks, Vincent," she smiled for a moment and went back to eating.

-

"Tee," Zexion said. "I need your wish list. It's almost Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. How 'bout you don't give me any presents?" Tifa hadn't quite gotten used to the concept of Christmas as a nice, enjoyable holiday. While she still lived with her family, Christmas Eve had been the worst day of the year. Every year she told her friends they didn't have to give her anything, but they always found something, and she was always happy when she opened the presents.

"Tifa. We've been through this before. I'm going to buy you a present or three, and I need to know what you want."

"You know what I want," she said with a laugh.

"Yes, but I can't get you fifteen feet of pure white snow, and you know that."

Tifa was a great fan of Nick Cave, and a great fan of snow, thus "fifteen feet of pure white snow" was always on top of her wish list.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll give you some proper wishes. A new computer?"

"Tee…" Zexion gave her a look that said 'I'm not even listening. Give me some proper wishes that I can actually _afford_ to buy".

"Well, then there's only one solution… CDs!" She grinned.

Zexion turned to Demyx, whom he had dragged along because, as he said, 'I want my boyfriend to meet my best friend, even though it might scar him for life'. Demyx actually though Tifa was very nice, though he had been slightly shocked when she started singing with joy and hugging him and Zexion enthusiastically. Apparently she was very happy that her best friend had found a boyfriend.

"Demyx, remind me never mention music when both Tifa and Yuffie can hear it. Ever. Those two wackos really don't think about anything but music and each other," he turned back to Tifa. "I realize I'm not going to get any other whishes from you, so just tell me which CDs you want."

"Um. Let's see. There are holes in my The Cure-collection, and in my Depeche Mode-collection. I don't have the newest Muse-CD, either, and… You know what, just go to the record store and tell them what kind of music I like, and I'm sure they can help you find something."

"Tell them what kind of music you like? Tee, you like _everything_!"

"We are not having that argument. I don't like everything. I just like very many, very different bands and musicians."

Zexion sighed. He knew what was coming next.

"Oh, I know something else I want!" Tifa exclaimed. "Band t-shirts!"

"Your wardrobe is full of them. You don't need any more, do you?"

"Yeah I do. You know I took a lot of them and cut out the logo and sewed them onto my bag."

"You still have about ten left."

"Ten. Exactly. Ten is nothing. I need more!"

Zexion sighed. Again.

-

"Want a cupcake?"

Rikku was in Cloud's kitchen and had just baked cupcakes and cookies. Cloud had decided that since she would most likely be moving in soon, he should invite her home and give her a tour of the house. However, before he had even shown her the room she would be renting she had found the kitchen and asked Cloud and a very, very, very surprised Leon what they wanted, cookies or cupcakes. When they hadn't been able to give her a proper answer within a fourth of a second, she had assumed they had trouble deciding and started making both.

Cloud nodded with a slightly confused look on his face, Leon seemed too stupefied to answer. She was the most hyperactive girl he'd met. Cloud hated hyperactive girls. Why on earth had his boyfriend offered to rent out the spare room to the most hyperactive girl on the planet?

"Leon? Leon?" he realized they were yelling his name. He'd been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed.

Rikku glared at him. "Do you want a cupcake?" she asked. She spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child.

"Um… eh… yeah, sure."

While they ate their cookies and cupcakes and drank hot chocolate, Rikku talked and talked and talked. Cloud and Leon didn't get to say much. Then Leon made some remark about her clothes, asking what had happened to her regular outfit. She mumbled something, and was quiet for a long while with a sad expression on her face.

"Bye Cloud, bye Leon," Rikku said as she walked out the door of Cloud's house. "I don't think I'll tell grandma until it starts to show, so I guess it'll be a couple of months until I move. But I'll see ya around, of course."

"What did she mean 'start to show'?" Leon asked as they closed the door.

"She's pregnant," Cloud said. "Her grandmother will kick her out when she finds out. That's why I offered to rent her the spare room."

"She lives with her grandma? I would have thought she had a place by herself."

"How old do you think she is?"

"Nineteen maybe?"

"That's what I thought, too. She turned sixteen last week."

"Oh."

-

"By the time I get back you better have a wish list ready," Yuffie said, and gave her girlfriend a stern look.

"Okay, okay. What's with wish list today, anyway?"

"Might have something to do with Christmas being only a few weeks away, Tee."

She turned to Vincent. "Let's go, the slopes are waiting."

-

Wind, snow, speed. Yuffie loved snowboarding. She loved the cold air against her face, she loved sailing across the white ground, she loved going faster and faster, and still having absolute control. More than anything, she loved racing Vincent and winning.  
"Oy, watch out!" someone yelled. She'd almost crashed into a child, the third one that day. It wasn't that Yuffie didn't care about the kids, she loved children, she just forgot to watch out sometimes. When she was enjoying herself she just got a bit careless.

"This is bloody amazing," she said to her brother as the ski lift was pulling them up to the top of the hill. "The snow is awesome, and for once there aren't that many fucking idiot skiers around. I really don't understand what skis are good for. Why can't everyone just start snowboarding instead? It's much more fun than those goddamned skis."

"Yuffie, there is something I want to ask you," Vincent said. "What is your favorite word?"

"Bloody."

"Thought so," he said with a smirk. "You're vocabulary consists mostly of swear-words, doesn't it? Do you actually like any words that are suitable for children?"

"I dunno."

They were silent for a minute or so before Yuffie exclaimed: "Stupidity!"

"Huh?" her brother said.

"That's a word I like that's suitable for children. Stupidity. It's a nice word. Fun to pronounce. Stupidity. Stupidity, stupidity, stupidity."

Vincent laughed.

"You're weird."

"I get it from my big bro'."

**----------**

**This chapter was fun to write! My gosh, I love Yuffie. And snowboarding. :P **

**I love the word "stupidity". It's one of my favorite words. And "bloody" is my favorite swear-word (though it's not really a swear-word in itself. Depends on the context). Yuffie is growing more and more like me. She has been based on me since the beginning, but she's much more similar to how I am now than she was when I started the story. **

**Feels good to finally be finished with this chapter, though I am seriously nervous about the next chapter. I have to write a Tifa/Yuffie lemon, cause I've promised. I've never ever written a yuri lemon before, it's scary. I did some research yesterday. It's hard to find yuri, especially M-rated, so I had to take what I could find. Which means I read a Naminé/Kairi and a Kairi/Olette. I dislike those pairings. Naminé/Kairi because it's… sick… it's almost like twincest to me. They're freaking …uhm… something. Naminé's Kairi's nobody or something. Actually, I never really understood that. Is Naminé a regular nobody, or is she some sort of special creature? But anyway, whatever Naminé is, her and Kairi doesn't work. I don't like Kairi/Olette because Olette is such an awesome girl, and I love her so much, and I really don't like Kairi at all (though I love her outfit in KH II). I like Olette with Naminé, Fuu or Pence. No one else (at least not that I can think of right now).**

**The title is from a song by Janis Ian. It's a wonderful song. I love it so much. I'm running out of titles, soon. It's getting harder and harder to find a song title that fits. And I have five fucking chapters left. Well, the last one is going to be called "Sanctuary", but I still need titles for the rest of 'em. **

**Next chapter: They let Tifa leave the hospital. Yuri lemon (Yuffie/Tifa of course), woot **

**Cookies and cupcakes for reviewers. The evil cupcakes will rule the world. **


	15. Chapter 15: A love story

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 15: A love story**

When Yuffie and Vincent got home, Yuffie's phone showed that Seifer had tried to call her once, Tifa had tried to call her seven times, and Zexion had tried to call her five times. She hurriedly dialed Tifa's number.

"You've called me. A lot. Seifer and Zexion have been calling too. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."  
"Then why have you guys been calling all day?"

"I've got _good_ news, silly. I'll be out of here in two days!"

-

The only interesting event during the next two days was when Zexion discovered that his new boyfriend was Cloud's brother. This resulted in a bit of awkwardness between the three of them, but the tension went away soon enough, as Zexion and Demyx only had eyes for each other, and Cloud was busy worrying about something or other.

For Tifa, the days seemed to fly past. She could hardly focus on anything. One moment she was so happy she could have danced, the next she was worrying about what would happen when she left. What if she ran into Larxene? What would she tell the kids at school if they asked why she'd been gone? How would she feel about staying in the house where she had attempted to take her own life? She was too busy with planning, pondering and mood swings to think about trivialities like time.

For Yuffie, however, the days seemed to last for weeks, or even years. When she was not with Tifa at the hospital, she was thinking about all the things they would do when she came home. They would have snowball fights, they would go for romantic walks in the snow, they would drink hot chocolate and eat candy.

-

"Do you want to go home straight away, or do you want to stay at my place for a bit? Vincent says it's okay. I mean, it might be hard for you to go back there and everything…?" Yuffie asked. It was only a few hours left until Tifa was leaving the hospital.

"I don't want to be any trouble to you or anything, but if you're sure you guys wouldn't mind, I'd rather not go home, at least not for a couple of days."

"You know _I_ wouldn't mind, I'd love it, and Vincent's out of town until sometime next week."

"Okay. That's good. Thanks," Tifa smiled weakly. "Where does he go anyway, when he leaves town like that?"

"Wish I knew," Yuffie said with a sad expression. "He's my brother, and of course I love him and everything, but I wish he wouldn't keep so many secrets from me. I hardly know anything about him."

-

Yuffie kicked the door of the apartment shut, and dropped one of Tifa's bags on the floor.

"Welcome to your new home. Well, for the next couple of days, anyway."

Tifa smiled and put the other bag down next the one Yuffie had been carrying.

"So… What do you want to do?" the younger girl asked.

Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed Tifa's hand and pulled her into the bedroom. She gently pushed the other girl onto the bed.

"Shit," she said suddenly, with a worried look at her girlfriend. "Should we be doing this now? I mean, after what happened with Larxene and everything. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to, and…"

She was cut of as Tifa grabbed her t-shirt and pulled her down into a kiss. It took Yuffie about a second to realize what was happening. _Apparently it's not too early,_ she thought.

She slid her arms around her girlfriend's waist, one of her hands finding its way under her black tank top. Tifa responded by flipping their positions so that Yuffie was on her back, and deepening the kiss. Her hands moved over Yuffie's body softly, causing the girl to shudder slightly. Tifa's top had somehow crept up so that her stomach and part of her bra was exposed. Tifa sat up and ripped off her top quickly. She reached both hands behind her back to unfasten her bra, before starting to push Yuffie's tee up, while tracing small circles on her stomach. Yuffie's hands found Tifa's breasts, and she started stroking and massaging them gently. Suddenly Yuffie's t-shirt was off, and Tifa's hands were all over her. The older girl slowly unzipped Yuffie's shorts and pulled them off unhurriedly. Thing were clearly going too slow for the younger girl's taste. She pushed Tifa off and removed both her own shorts, and her girlfriends skirt before the other girl had time to realize that she wasn't in charge anymore.

"Not used to being bottom, are you?" Tifa said with a laugh, and planted a small kiss on Yuffie's lips.

"Hell no! I don't know what you're used to, but there will be no bossing this girl," she giggled in a very un-Yuffie-ish way.

"I can live with that. In fact, you can do whatever you want to me. I have no problem with being your little toy."

"Well, in that case…"

Yuffie pulled Tifa's panties of with a swift movement. She nibbled the other girl's neck gently. She trailed soft kisses down to one of Tifa's nipples. Her tongue played with it, as one of Yuffie's hands found it's way between Tifa's legs. The older girl moaned softly and pressed against her girlfriend's hand. Yuffie stroked her for a while, smiling as Tifa's moans grew louder. She pushed one finger inside her, then another. She reached up to kiss her, still moving her fingers in and out, and massaging the girl's breast with her free hand.

Tifa yelled Yuffie's name as she felt her orgasm start to flow through her body from her head, all the way down to her toes.

"Now it's your turn to be the toy," she said when she could catch her breath. She smirked slightly as she climbed on top of Yuffie.

Yuffie's panties landed on the floor next the rest of her clothes, as Tifa started stroking the inside of her thighs. Yuffie groaned as Tifa moved one of her hands up to the moist area between her legs.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Yuffie said when Tifa's hand suddenly disappeared. The girl just smiled.

Yuffie moaned loudly as Tifa's tongue continued where her hand had stopped.

**----------**

**I was really worried about this chapter, cause I've never written a yuri lemon before. Turns out yuri is easier than yaoi. Or maybe it's all about the people. I've written an AkoRoku lemon, a SoRiku lemon and a Zemyx lemon, and those were hard to write. Next chapter will have a Cloud/Leon lemon, maybe that'll be easier... I don't know. So far Yuffie/Tifa is easiest. And before someone asks whatever happened to Yuffie's bra; she wasn't wearing one.**

**This chapter was quite short, but that I never planned to make it long. Next chapter will be a lot longer. **

**The title is from a song by Thomas Dybdahl. He's amazing. Go download/buy his music everyone!**

**Everyone, review!!! I need reviews. X-mas presents for reviewers :)**

**Next chapter will include Demyx, Rikku, Reno, Cloud/Leon argument, Cloud/Leon lemon. **


	16. Chapter 16: Goodnight sweetheart

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 16: Goodnight sweetheart**

Demyx read the letter again. And again. And again. He felt numb. This couldn't be right. They couldn't just kick him out. He was only one week behind with the rent. _One week_. They couldn't just kick him out, could they?

What the hell was he going to do? He had two weeks to find a new place to live. If he didn't find anything, they would just kick him out, and he'd end up on the street. He had no money, of course he didn't. If he'd had any money he would have paid the rent. He had no money, and nowhere to go.

He decided to call Zexion. Maybe he could crash there for a while.

_Ring, ring, ring._

"Zexion."

"Hi. It's Demyx. I kinda need to ask a favor."

"Sure."

"It's a really big favor. I'm a week behind with the rent, and…"

"I can lend you money if you need."

"It's too late. They don't want money, they want me out of here within two weeks."

"Oh."

"And I don't have anywhere to go. So I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a little while. Only until I find somewhere else to stay."

Zexion was quiet for a while.

"It's okay if you don't want me there," Demyx said after almost a minute of silence.

"It's not that I don't want you to live here, I'd love it, but we just don't have enough space. I'm sorry. This apartment is barely big enough for me and Seifer, how would we get by with three people here? I'm sorry, Demyx."

"It's okay. I understand. I should've known, anyway. I didn't even think about Seifer. Of course the apartment is too small for three, and Seifer and I barely know each other. How would he feel about having to live with someone who's practically a stranger 24/7?"

"I'm really sorry," Zexion said again. "Why don't you ask Cloud? He's got a goddamned house, and he lives there alone."

-

"Dammit!"

Demyx had looked everywhere for Cloud's number, but he couldn't find the piece of paper on which he'd written it down. Only one thing to do, then. He grabbed his bag and jacket, jumped into his shoes and walked out the door. He had walked about five yard before he started cursing his shoes. He loved his Chucks, but they weren't made for winter.

After about five minutes he realized he was lost. Completely and utterly lost. Demyx' sense if direction was pretty much nonexistent. After walking around town at random for more than half an hour, he felt frozen to the bone, and his shoes were soaked. When he walked past a cozy coffee shop for the third time, he decided to go in and get something hot to drink.

The warmth from inside hit him in the face as he opened the door. He hurried inside. The place was near empty, but he didn't even bother to look around. He practically ran over to the counter and told the girl behind it to give him something hot to drink that wasn't too expensive. She gave him an amused smile and tugged at one of her braids. Her blond hair was full of small beaded braids. Around her head she wore a blue headband. Her blue t-shirt was full of beads, patches, badges and band logos.

"Looks like you've got a pretty decent taste in music," Demyx said when the girl handed him a cup of hot chocolate.

"Yeah? You interested in music?"

"'Interested' might be bit of an understatement. I live and breathe music. All I need in this world is a stereo and a bunch of CD. Well, that and my boyfriend, of course."

Demyx smiled as he walked towards the other end of the room. Suddenly he noticed a boy with spiky blond hair sitting in the corner with his nose in a book.

"Cloud? What are you doing here?"

The boy lifted his head slowly.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? I come here almost every day. What are _you_ doing here?"

Demyx sat down and told Cloud the whole story. Cloud didn't say anything while his brother talked, but then again he hardly ever said anything.

"So let me see if I've got this straight," Cloud said when Demyx had finished talking. "You're a week behind with the rent, and the guys who own the apartment doesn't want the money, they want you out in two weeks."

"Yep."

"You can't stay at Seifer and Zexion's place because their apartment is too small for three people."

"Yep."

"You needed to talk to me, but you couldn't find my number, you have absolutely no sense of direction, after trying to find my house for more than half an hour you came here to get a cup of cocoa, and found me here."

"Yep."

"And the reason you wanted to talk to me was that you need a place to stay, and you were going to ask if you could crash at my place for a while."

"I didn't say that, but yeah, that was the idea."

Cloud frowned and stared at nothing in particular for a while. Now and then his eyes drifted to the girl behind the counter.

"See that girl?" he said and pointed at the blonde, who was currently busy putting cookies on a plate. Then he told Demyx about Rikku's pregnancy, about her grandmother who was going to kick her out, and that he'd promised to rent her the spare room.

"Oh," Demyx said. "I guess you don't have enough space for me, then."

"We'll figure something out. Someone will just have to sleep on the couch or something. Anyway, Rikku's not moving in until she's told her grandma about being pregnant, and she doesn't plan to do that until it starts to show. I don't know how long that'll take, but I guess the room will be available for at least a few weeks."

-

"What the hell are you thinking?" Leon yelled. Cloud had just told him that Demyx would be moving in soon. "You hardly know him! What if he's a crazy axe murderer or something?"

"He's my brother," Cloud said calmly.

"I don't care!" The brunet walked over to the other side of Cloud's bedroom, then turned on his heel and glared angrily at his boyfriend. "It's bad enough with you renting out your spare room to that Rikku girl, and now Demyx is coming to live here too. They're practically strangers, Cloud. And they're also the kind of overly happy, hyperactive people that you hate!"

"For heaven's sake, Leon! They're not strangers, and I don't hate them!" The blonde raised his voice for the first time.

"They are strangers! This is your _home_, not a fucking hostel!"

"Exactly, it's _my_ home! No matter how much time you spend here, this is my house, not yours."

"I bloody well know that. That's not the point! The point's that…" He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Cloud had pressed him up against the wall and was kissing him fiercely.

"What… what are you doing?" Leon stuttered.

"This argument is going nowhere, and anyway, you're just so goddamned sexy when you're angry," Cloud said with a smirk. He slipped one hand under his boyfriend's t-shirt, and tangled the other in his brown hair.

"Rubbish!" the brunet said, but even as he spoke, his body was responding to Cloud's touches. He ripped of the blonde's sweater. Said blonde responded by pulling of Leon's t-shirt.

"Hold on a sec," Leon said when he discovered that Cloud's hands were toying with the waistband of his jeans. "We're not supposed to do this now. We're in the middle of a fucking argument. I'm not having sex with you when we're in the middle of an argument!"

"Really?"

"I mean it, Cloud! We're not having sex now."

"Oh, yeah? But I think we are," the blonde stopped nibbling Leon's earlobe to send his boyfriend a challenging look.

"Hey! Why'd you stop?"

"I thought you said we weren't going to have sex?"

"Oh, never mind. But I'm on top."

"Really?" Cloud said in exactly the same voice as last time he said that word. "By the way, are we going to have sex on our feet?"

"Even thought that would be highly interesting, I would rather do you on the bed. Can't be on top if we're standing, now can I?"

Cloud didn't reply, instead he pushed his lover onto the bed and straddled him. He ground his hips against his boyfriend's. Leon groaned as he struggled to switch their positions. Little by little he gave up fighting, as Cloud kissed him passionately. Leon tugged at the blonde's t-shirt.

"Take it off," he ordered. Cloud obediently took of his black tee and threw it on the floor. Immediately he felt Leon's hands on his chest. He smirked slightly, and bent down to kiss his boyfriend's neck. The brunet's hands had made their way down to Cloud's jeans. Suddenly they were off, and landed on the floor, closely followed by Leon's. Soon after two pairs of black boxers landed on the other side of the bed.

"Prep?" Cloud asked.

"Yes please," Leon answered.

"Do we have any lube?"

"Nope."

"Here's a little something for you to suck on, then," the blonde said and held up two fingers. Leon did as he was told.

When his fingers were wet enough, Cloud slowly pushed one of them inside Leon. After a little while he added the other one. He moved the fingers in and out for a while.

"Ready?" he said and looked at Leon with an eyebrow raised and a questioning look in his eyes.

"Sure. Go on, screw my brains out if you want to."

Cloud snickered and removed the fingers. Leon clenched his teeth when Cloud's length filled him, but not a sound escaped his lips. He forced himself to meet the other boy's thrusts, and soon enough the pain went away, and his pleasure grew. The boys fell into an unsteady rhythm, slowly increasing the pace. In and out, faster and faster. Cloud slipped a hand between the moving bodies to tend to Leon's needs.

"Uh… oh… oh my god… Leon!" the blonde yelled as he came, spilling his seed both inside his lover and on the sheets. A few seconds later, Leon came in Cloud's hand.

Leon fell asleep quite soon, but Cloud lay awake watching his brown-haired lover. He was hoping for a calm night without any nightmares, but he knew the chances of that were slim. _I wish you could get some undisturbed sleep,_ he thought. _Just one night without any bad dreams. I wish you could have one peaceful night, my angel._

**--------**

**Message to all you faithful readers (erm… All? Faithful? This story has 5 alerts. 5. That's really many. NOT): I'm taking a break from this story to write some other stuff. I will not start chapter 17 until I've finished my Vincent x-mas story, and at least one chapter of my crack-fic (more info on those stories in my bio). I don't know how long that'll take. Might take two days, might take a week, might take two weeks. Most likely I'll start chapter 17 in 3-5 days, and spend 1-2 days writing it, so expect the next chap in about a week…**

**This chapter was both fun to write and a royal pain in the ass at the same time. I really loved writing the introduction to the lemon, but when I came to the "explicit" (yeah, really explicit. Extremely graphic details. As if) part it all went to hell in a hand basket. But still, Cloud/Leon is definitely me favorite pairing for yaoi smut. And we all love yaoi smut, don't we? Even when it's crappy written, we love it, right? _Right?_**

**There was gonna be a tiny little bit about Reno and Rikku in here too, but I postponed it. Rikku's suspicions that Reno is the father of her baby is either confirmed, or proven wrong. _Holy mother of God and all her wacky nephews! Fuck! Shit, damn, crap, fuck, fuck, fuck! _I just realized that I wrote "conform" instead of "confirm" on my end-of-term English test today. Dammit!**

**The title is from a song by the wonderful Rufus Wainwright. That's the third chapter with a title stolen from him. I'm so happy that I only have two chapters left to name. There are three chapters left, but the last one will be called "sanctuary", so I only need two more names.**

**I'm trying out a new tactic to make you guys review. I think it is highly unfair that you don't review. Right now this story has over 3000 hits, and only 15 reviews. Looking at the hits per chapter, I see that quite a few of the people who see this story actually read at least a couple of chapters, instead of just looking at the first lines of chapter 1 and deciding not to read. Which means that you guys don't review enough. Therefore, a new tactic: I offer you the possibility to make a suggestion for something to put in the story, and I will try to put in one of the next chapters. I'm not talking about big stuff that affects the plot, unfortunately (darn, I misspelled unfortunately too on the test today. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck), but stuff like "Zexion wears insert item of clothing here", or "Demyx likes insert band name here" or "Yuffie eats insert type of candy here". Stuff like that. The little things that add life to the story. Come on guys, _REVIEW!!!_**

**Next chap.: Whether it is Reno or her ex who is the father of Rikku's baby, something about Larxene, something about Tifa and the redhead (Larxene's playmate).**


	17. Chapter 17: Teardrop

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow **

**Chapter 17: Teardrop **

Yuffie woke up to find Tifa sobbing on the floor.

"Hey, hey, hey, sweetie, what's wrong?" she sat down next to her girlfriend and put an arm around her shaking shoulders.

"Larxene's mom called. She's… dead. Car accident."

"Oh God. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I shouldn't really be sad. She was an awful person. I should've hated her."

"You loved her once. Of course you're supposed to be sad."

Tifa shook her head slowly, still weeping. Yuffie didn't know what to say, so she just pulled her closer.

-

Cloud looked up from his book and over at Rikku behind the counter. She looked more miserable than usual, but maybe it was just mood swings. He sipped his coffee and resumed his reading. He found it hard to focus, though. So many thoughts were spinning in his head. What was up with Leon? The boy had been acting weird for days. Since Cloud told him that Demyx was moving in, to be precise. One moment he'd be all lovey-dovey, and the next he'd be yelling at the top of his lounges. However, Leon wasn't the only one acting weird. Demyx had moved in three days ago, but he'd hardly left his room, and when he did he ran out of the house before Cloud could even ask where he was going. The boy didn't even eat breakfast.

He sighed, his eyes wandering to the blonde behind the counter again. She really did seem down. Could it be just mood swings? He had a nagging feeling there was something more.

"When do your shift end?" he asked Rikku on his way to the door.

"In half an eternity," she sighed.

"You okay? You seem a bit down."

"I'm fine. We'll talk about it later."

The reply made Cloud even more confused. She said she was fine, but she also said they would talk about it. Rikku was not the type to want to talk if it wasn't something serious. Why did she say she was fine if something serious was wrong?

On his way out he ran into Demyx. His brother seemed reluctant to talk to him. When Cloud asked him where he'd been he muttered something about Zexion and avoided looking him in the eye.

Why was everyone acting so weird lately?

-

Yuffie was wondering the same thing. She'd barely seen Leon for a week, but she saw Cloud all the time. What was Leon doing if he wasn't with his boyfriend or his so-called best friend? Vincent had been pretty absent, too. He had been home for a few hours two days ago before running off to catch a train to somewhere. As usual he had left without a word about where he was going.

Above all, Tifa was in a confusing mood. Only three days ago she'd said she didn't want to go to Larxene's funeral. Yesterday she'd said she had to go, but she couldn't do it alone. Now she was getting ready to leave, but she was insisting Yuffie stay home.

After Tifa had left, Yuffie sat at the kitchen table and thought about everyone's strange behavior. She actually considered calling Cloud to ask if he wanted to found a "I hate the world because it's acting in a very confusing manner"-club with her.

_- _

_Deep breaths now Tifa. Calm. Deep breaths. _The black-haired girl pulled her cloak around her as she sat down on a bench in the back of the church. Churches always gave her the creeps. When she was a little kid she'd been terrified of churches for some reason, and she still couldn't walk into one without feeling a bit uneasy.

The minister said nice things about Larxene, her mother read a poem. Everyone sang some hymns. Tifa didn't cry. She felt completely empty inside. She hadn't been able to weep had she wanted to, she had no tears.

Everyone had left the church. Tifa had offered her condolences to Larxene's mother and was about to leave when she spotted someone who looked familiar. It took her a while to place the redhead, but suddenly she remembered who she was. Larxene's little playmate. What the hell was she doing here?

As the redhead started to walk away, Tifa joined her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Who are you?" the girl said, instead of answering Tifa's question.

"I'm Larxene's ex. Not that it matters to you. And you don't need to introduce yourself, I know who you are. You were just her playmate. You were her toy, or she was yours. Why did you come here? Don't tell me you actually had feelings for her, cause I won't believe you."

"I may have been just a toy to Larxene, but she meant the world to me. She really did. She didn't love me, I know that. Like you said, I was just her playmate. But _I_ loved _her_."

Tifa snorted in disbelief.

"Look," the redhead said in a voice that told Tifa that this girl obviously thought about herself as better than the rest of the world in some way. "I know you don't believe me, and I don't know how to convince you, so I won't try. I'm leaving town in a few hours. I was supposed to leave yesterday, but I didn't want to miss the funeral. We probably won't see each other again ever. I don't want an argument with you. I want to get on that train in…" she checked her watch "…three hours and fifty minutes, and leave this place behind me. All I ask is that you let me go now without starting that argument." With that she walked away. Once she made a twitching motion as if wanting to look back but changing her mind. Tifa glared after her. "What's with the attitude, bitch?" she muttered under her breath.

-

Cloud stared at Rikku in shock. The blond girl was standing on his doorstep. She looked… terrible. Her hair was a complete mess, she was pale, and tears, grey because they mixed with her mascara, ran down her cheeks.

"Can I come in?" she stuttered.

Rikku sat on Cloud's couch and cried. Between sobs she tried to give some sort of explanation, but it was quite impossible to understand anything she said.

"You don't need to talk," Cloud said. "Just cry, if you want to. I'll get you a cup of hot chocolate, you look like you could need it."

**------**

**Yes, there will be lots of explanations in the next chapter. **

**I don't know if the redhead was Kairi. She might have been, but anyway she won't show up again. She's completely out of the story now. **

**I don't like this chapter. Actually, I'm starting to hate this whole story. It's fucked up. Last two chapters will be pretty okay, though. At least I think so.**

**I know I promised to tell you who the father of Rikku's baby is in this chapter, but you'll have to wait until the next one. **

**Cloud is turning into some take-care-of-everyone-and-forget-about-himself-guy. I kinda like him that way. It's cute.**

**Title is stolen from Massive Attack.**

**REVIEW**


	18. Chapter 18: Any other world

**Fifteen feet of pure white snow**

**Chapter 18: Any Other World**

_Okay. What the hell do I do now? I need to explain. Yes, that's it. I need to explain my weird behavior to Cloud. And to Yuffie. I need to explain to my best friend and my significant other why I've been acting so fucking weird. Okay. Not too difficult. _Leon took a few deep breaths and reached out his hand to knock on Cloud's door. _Wait. How the hell do I explain? Oh for heaven's sake. Squall Leonhart, gat a fucking grip. And stop swearing. You sound like Yuffie. Hold on, why am I yelling at myself in my head?_

-

"Where the hell have you been?" Cloud screamed. Leon wondered if it might have been wiser to stay at home. Well, no point in crying over spilt milk.

"Uh…"

"First you act all weird for days and then you just disappear. I've been trying to reach you all weekend, but you just won't answer your fucking phone, will you? Here I am, my brother is refusing to eat, and stays in his room all day, and when he leaves it he runs out the door faster then I can say "where the hell are you going?". And you know what? I don't even have time to worry about him, because I need to figure out how I'm going to find enough space for Rikku to live here. Her grandmother somehow discovered that she's pregnant, and threw her out. No "You have a certain number of days to find a new place to live", she got one hour. So she's been sleeping on the couch tonight, but if it continues like that she'll destroy her back, and within a few months won't be able to walk. In case you didn't know, that couch is _not _a comfortable piece of furniture to sleep on. Oh, but don't think that's all. I have to spend lots of time every fucking day telling Rikku that it'll be fucking okay. Actually, I don't know if it will, but I have to tell her, don't I? Somehow she's just realized what it means to be pregnant. I think finding out who the father is made her realize this was actually real. By the way, the father is Reno. You don't know him. I don't either, really, but I know someone who knows someone. He's clumsy, irresponsible etc, etc. He'll make a lousy father, and Rikku is very well aware of that. She's a bit desperate, really. Has no idea what she's going to do once the baby's born. Oh, by the way, your best friend has been worried sick about you, on top of taking care of her girlfriend. Larxene's dead, by the way. Killed in a car crash. You know, Yuffie and I are kinda busy taking care of people, but you just disappear for a few days without fucking telling us where you are. Now tell me, were on fucking earth have you been?"

Leon stared at Cloud for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded.

"I've been looking through Aerith's old stuff. Found her diary and a suicide note that "no one" has ever seen before. I'm pissed of at my dad, and the world in general, but at least I know why she killed herself. Can I come in? It's freezing out here!"

"Oh. Okay. Sure. Come on in."

-

Tifa raised her eyebrows as Yuffie put down the phone. She'd been talking to Cloud for almost half an hour, and seemed more than a little confused.

"What was that all about?" Tifa asked.

"I don't know. He wouldn't say much. He wants us to come over as soon as possible, though."

-

Cloud looked at the people gathered around his living room. What a motley crew. In one chair was Demyx with his mohawk, worn out jeans and converse. One the floor by his feet was Zexion hiding in his over-sized black hoodie, seemingly trying to make himself as small as possible. Rikku looked out of place, lying on the couch with her brightly colored clothes and beaded braids, but wearing an expression of deep agony. Apparently she was experiencing both morning sickness and back pains. Leon was sitting in another chair, watching everyone with a worried expression. On the floor, between Leon's chair and the couch, sat Yuffie, wearing camo shorts, combat boots and a black t-shirt that looked like something stolen from Vincent's wardrobe (it probably was), and Tifa in a short, pleated skirt, a black tank top and her hair tied back with a purple ribbon. Cloud couldn't help but think that right then and there, the two of them looked like the weirdest couple he'd ever seen.

"Right," he said. "We're all here. I believe several people in this room have a bit of explaining to do, and we also need to discuss a few problems. But first I think Leon has a few things he'd like to say." He gave his boyfriend a stern look.

"Yeah, well, I guess I have a bit of explaining to do," Leon said. "First of all; sorry. I promise I won't just isolate myself like that again. Yuffie, I can tell that you want to beat the crap out of me, and I sort of understand why. I haven't exactly been a very good best friend."

His eyes were fixed on the floor, but his voice was clear and confident. He took a deep breath and threw one quick glance at Cloud. Then he started speaking. He talked about Aerith. He told everyone about her life, her suicide and how his life had been after he lost his sister. Then all of a sudden his voice got an angry tone.

"See, I didn't know until a few days ago _why_ it happened. Why she didn't want to live anymore. But then I found out. Apparently my father had been abusing her for years. In just about every possible way.

She wrote a suicide note, explaining everything to me. But guess what, I never saw that note. Because my father took it. I found it a few days ago. The worst part is that my parents actually knew that she killed herself. They had acted like they didn't believe that she would actually want to end her own life, and I thought they were just stupid, but apparently they simply lied to me.

I guess this isn't much of an excuse. I should have told you guys where I was and stuff, but I just needed some time to be alone. Sorry."

-

After Leon stopped talking, everyone stared at him for a while. Yuffie was the first person to speak: "I don't really want to beat the crap out of you anymore." She gave him a tiny smile. He walked over and gave her a quick hug. With the look they gave each other, they both said: "You're my best friend in the entire world. I'm here for you."

Cloud cleared his throat, and turned to Demyx. "So… Big brother? Your turn?"

"It's confession time, is it?" Demyx said. "I don't really know if this is the time and place. Couldn't we just talk later, without everyone else?"

Cloud considered this for a moment. "I guess. I mean, it's your choice. Okay. We'll talk later."

He turned to everybody. "Any other confessions, or can we move on to problem-solving?"

No one said anything, so Cloud started speaking again.

"Okay, the thing is that I, well, Rikku and I, have a bit of a problem. As you all know, she's having a baby in a few months. She got kicked out from home, the baby's father is not about to take any responsibility, so… She's been staying here for a few days, but my couch is gonna destroy her back sooner or later if she keeps on sleeping there. I know this is a really big favor, and everything, but we were wondering if anyone has enough space for a new roomie?"

Almost immediately Tifa opened her mouth. "She can stay with me."

"You sure?"

"Of course. My house is ginormous, and quite frankly, it's a bit boring there. And I don't really feel comfortable about being alone there after… you know… So a new roomie sounds just perfect."

Rikku looked up and gave Tifa a big smile. "Thanks, Tifa, I really, really appreciate it."

-

Leon and Yuffie had gone outside for a while to smoke and talk.

"You don't smoke!" Leon said. "You haven't smoked since you were thirteen. Seriously, you don't smoke!"

"I do now," Yuffie replied. "It's partly your fault. I've been so stressed out lately that I started again. But I'll stop. Zexion and I have a plan. We're quitting together. Really."

"As if."

Inside, the house was buzzing with activity. Zexion was in the kitchen making dinner for everyone, Tifa and Rikku were packing Rikku's stuff and Demyx and Cloud were talking. Well, Cloud was talking, Demyx was trying to avoid his brother's questions.

"Come on, Dem. You've gotta talk to me. You've been acting weird lately. Really weird. You have some serious explaining to do."

"Me and Zexion have been having some problems, okay?" Demyx said. He stared at Cloud with a stubborn expression. "It's none of your business. We had some trouble, we've worked it out."

"I'm not forcing you, but if you need to talk…"

"…I know where to find you." Suddenly he started laughing. Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"It's just," Demyx started. "You're my little brother. Aren't I the one supposed to be taking care of you?"

**-----**

**OMG, a new chapter!!! I'm kinda proud of myself for actually updating.**

**This sucks, but I'm not in the mood to write better. I need to finish this story. I've been working on this for more than 5 months. I need to finish it and start writing one-shots. I'm really a short story person. I suck at this long shit.**

**The next chapter will be the last. I need your help with that one. I have to gather all the ends, but it's been so long since I worked on this story that I've forgot much of it. So you guys have to tell me what you're wondering about. Any questions that your left with that haven't been answered yet? Let me know, cause I need to answer them in the next chapter. **

**Title is stolen from Mika. He's amazing and I command y'all to listen to him!**

**REVIEW!!!**


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